A listener production.
Oh, hello there, my lovely listeners.
Here I am in between the guest chats that I love to do.
I like to answer a big question.
And what I have done recently
is that I threw it out there to you on Instagram.
What would you like me to answer?
What is your big question?
I got so many goodies,
but I'm just gonna start with one.
This big question, dare I say,
it came from my mum.
And this is so cheeky of my mum.
It is typical my mum.
And the big question that she wanted answered,
and it was quite pointed, I think.
You'll understand why when I tell you the question.
The question was, why don't people answer text messages?
And this was mum having a little bit of a go at me
because I hadn't responded to her text message instantly.
You may know about me that I'm not a fan
of replying to messages straight away.
Sometimes I even forget to reply to messages.
I've got wonderful dear friends and family,
as you can see from my mum's question,
who don't hear from me.
And I don't mean not to reply to a message.
So what I wanna do is answer that question,
but let's broaden it out.
Why is it that we don't answer text messages?
And I'm gonna get on my soapbox here
because there's this sense,
because our phones are always with us,
we have them in our hands constantly,
that there's this expectation from some people
that everyone is accessible 24-7,
that we can always get someone.
So because we send someone a message straight away,
we expect to be responded to.
I don't, because I don't respond to people straight away.
My husband, however, is someone who does send a message
and gets very irked when he doesn't hear from the person.
That is including me.
He's been known to send me many text messages
and I won't respond.
He'll be at work and then he'll ring me,
but then I'll think, oh no, I'm busy.
I can't answer the phone.
And he'll get most annoyed
because his work colleagues will say, she's on Instagram.
I can see she's on Instagram.
And Peter's like, but she's not responding to me.
Well, because I'm busy doing something else.
And I think that is the point for people,
that everyone is entitled not to always be so available.
It's a way of having boundaries around yourself.
You don't need to answer something straight away.
So what is it that you could possibly say to someone
who might be getting cross with you
because they haven't heard from you,
might be a friend who's feeling hurt
and they're like, why haven't I heard from this person?
Could I suggest don't take it quite so personally?
And again, this is from someone
who doesn't return the message.
So I do get that it can be hurtful
if you don't hear from someone straight away,
but this is what might be going on in the person's head
who hasn't replied to the text message.
Okay, I'm just really overwhelmed
with everything that's going on in my life.
That is an answer.
And that is okay why you mightn't get back to that person.
Here's another one.
I'm really struggling to try and find the words
to tell you what I'm going through.
So because I'm struggling to find those words,
I don't know what to tell you.
So I won't respond.
I just won't say anything.
What about the other one?
All of us lead increasingly busy, hectic lives.
You're getting sidetracked.
So I'm busy doing this
so I can't respond to you at the moment.
That might be another reason.
I don't know what to say or how to respond.
That might be something else
that's going on for that particular person.
Or what about this one?
I'm going through a really hard time
or I'm feeling pretty crappy at the moment
and I don't wanna burden you.
That might be why you don't hear from the person.
How about this one?
I don't have the time or the energy
that you need and deserve.
So I'll get back to you when I can.
I'll get back to you when my cup is full.
I'm one of those people who I like to give
and give and give to people.
And if I can't do that, I do retreat
and I feel that I'm not at my best.
So I won't get back to that person.
So again, it's not about them.
It's about what I might be going through at that time.
Or it could even be as simple as,
I haven't seen your message yet.
Not everyone is as glued to their phone
as perhaps you might be.
Or not everyone is seeing the urgency
of what that particular message is.
So Mummo, my darling mum,
who sent me that big question via the Story app
on Instagram about why do people
not respond to their text messages.
Mummo, I can't remember exactly what was happening
in my day that meant I didn't get back to you
about when we could catch up for coffee,
but it's not because I don't love you.
And I'll tell you another thing too,
my parents separated when I was very young,
but my dad, this is something that he shares with my mum.
He also gets very annoyed when I don't ring him back.
So what dad will do on my Instagram,
he'll just put a comment,
but he'll send a whole lot of just phone emojis.
Like ring me, ring me, ring me
because he's left me messages.
And then what he'll do when I ring him,
he'll begin with, who is this on the phone?
I don't recognise this voice.
And I'm like, dad, it's your eldest daughter.
Don't be so annoying.
It's like, do I have an eldest daughter?
I didn't realise I had one
because I haven't heard from someone
who might be my eldest daughter for so long.
Again, why I'm saying this is it's not through want
of not thinking about the person, not loving them,
not caring about them, but sometimes life,
the bigness of life, the minutia of life gets in the way.
And it stops me from getting back to people instantly
or perhaps not even instantly, even in a matter of days.
And then I'll flag an email
or put something like screenshot a message
and then I'll forget about it
because I've got so many screenshots
of all sorts of different things
that I've liked on Instagram or TikTok.
So again, I don't want you to think I'm making excuses.
Yes, I probably am making excuses,
but that is the answer to my big question from my mum.
There's plenty of others and I would love to get to them.
Next time when I have a big question,
so please keep them coming.
I'm gonna be back next week
with another beautiful big conversation
with one of my guests.
Until then, show some love to people
who don't send you that text message.
Just send them some heart emojis or unicorn emojis
or even some leopard emojis
because I call myself a leopard lady
along with my extraordinary producer, Nick McClure.
We are the Leopard Ladies.
Nick though is someone who does reply to your text messages
and that is why she is the best producer in the business.