A listener production.
I find it really tough to speak up
and I find it really tough to articulate so many things
when they happen because it brings up past trauma
of being quiet and shushed or getting a little slap
on the wrist for being too much
and not staying in your lane.
So I think it's that feeling, that unbelonging
that has kind of crept in at times
that I wish that it wouldn't.
Hi, I'm Jess Rowe and this is the Jess Rowe Big Talk Show.
A podcast that skips the small talk
and goes big and deep.
From love to loss and everything in between,
I want to show you a different side of people
who seem to have it all together
in these raw and honest conversations
about the things that matter.
I don't know about you,
but I really crave connected conversations.
So I'm going to dig deep to give you a new window
into the souls of the people we're curious
to get to know and understand.
There might be tears as well as laughter
as we celebrate the real life flaws and vulnerabilities
that make us human.
Indian Australian actor Pallavi Shada
is an international film star,
first making a mark in Bollywood and now in Hollywood.
She's starring in Wedding Season on Netflix
where she's the first South Asian woman
to lead a mainstream studio rom-com film.
Pallavi is passionate about making space
for actors of colour in Australia and globally.
I first met Pallavi a few years ago
when she came on Studio 10
and I was struck by her warmth and intellect.
I wanted to talk with her
about what it was like growing up in Melbourne
and what motivates her to make brave decisions in her life.
By the way, she is my husband's hall pass.
Wonderful, Pallavi, it is so wonderful
to see your beautiful glowing face
because the last time I saw you was in Australia.
You came onto Studio 10 and I just loved meeting
and talking with you, it was incredible.
Oh, I just remember how supportive you were.
You know, the whole time I was a bit nervous
and you kept going, don't worry, you've got this.
And I just was like, thank God that Jess is here.
Well, I was sort of in awe of you
because you are quite someone.
You are an absolute superstar
and you've recently done this amazing movie,
Wedding Season, which I love.
My husband and I watched it.
He has a massive crush on you, let me just say.
Wait till I tell my parents that,
they're gonna be like, who watched your film?
He's like, oh my God, are you interviewing her today?
Can you just please tell her that I think she's amazing.
After you, she is the most beautiful woman.
Oh my goodness, that's just made my day.
And it's so nice to hear an Australian voice,
but to hear that Australian icons are discussing my movie
is my egos inflated a bit right now.
Well, it should be because it's a great movie
and it's a rom-com, but also it's very moving.
And there were times I felt quite teary watching it.
I'm glad, you know, my dad said that.
My father's a film buff
and I just had all these messages from him being like,
I did not expect it to get so emotional
when I've been tearing up.
And yeah, that's what we wanted.
We wanted it to be more than just, you know,
a frivolous account of an Indian Jersey family,
because I think humanising this community
is what's really important to the authenticity of the story.
And I think that's what people have responded to.
Tell me a bit more about your dad,
because what did that mean to you having him react
in that way to something that is so close to your heart?
Well, I think, you know, this film obviously
in many respects represents the diaspora at large
and Indian families that have grown up away from,
you know, the homeland that we all long for
and nostalgic for in many ways.
And I think just the fact that the story goes through
the journey of the parents and pays homage to the migrant journey
is something which was so important for me to watch my parents
see themselves reflected in that somewhat.
And I think the two large conversations towards the end of the film
in the third act that my character has with first her father
and then her mother, I remember tearing up while we were shooting
because I thought there are so many women I know
that haven't had this conversation yet with their own parents
and breaking down the barriers and being able to speak
in an emotional language, which hasn't always been available
to kids that grew up in migrant backgrounds.
I do a lot of writing about the theme of intercultural living
and that duality.
And one of the things I've always noted is, you know,
it wasn't like, how was your day?
Did anyone upset you? How are you feeling?
It was very practical and pragmatic the way we grew up
because there was a survivalism into growing up in Australia
and anywhere that you grow up where it's not your home country
or your parents' home country.
And I'm going through that reckoning with my family now
where we're all adults and you can relate to your parents
and their traumas and their journeys,
and it humanises the experience for everyone.
So I think it's great that it did the job of breaking down
that barrier and allowing ourselves to feel reflected.
And it's, you know, mainstream Hollywood movies streaming
on Netflix, the biggest streaming service in the world.
I know it's crazy.
I don't know if this is statistically true,
but I'm just going to put it out there.
I think I might be the first South Asian lead
in a Hollywood rom-com.
Oh, it is a moment, isn't it?
It's something that you need to cherish.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I've been in LA since it came out and it's been tough
being away from my family, I guess.
During it, and it always seems to happen
that whenever the biggest things that I do come out,
I'm sort of on my own.
So you you rely on the overstimulation that you get online
and through social media.
But this time I've felt that pride, like my dad sends me every day.
He sends me copied and pasted messages on all of his social media.
He's linked in from all of his like college friends
and the alumni associations that he's associated with his students.
I did a keynote for his students last week on Zoom
talking about barrier breaking and the path forward
and finding your way post university.
And it's just been incredible to see that the ripple effect
that that can have, particularly for people from minority communities
who haven't always felt that there's a path
that's set out in precedent for them, which is, you know,
once upon a time, how I felt.
So if this can just be a little beacon for other people,
then my work is done.
Your work is well and truly done.
But let's talk a little bit about how you felt
and how you felt growing up.
I mean, you were a genius. You were a child genius, weren't you?
I definitely started university way too young.
Now, I mean, in hindsight, I know how desperate I was
to just get to the next thing and experience life really quickly
so that I could find that, you know, journey where I was exploring my passion.
And I felt like there were these boxes that I had to tick
before I was allowed to do that.
And I think subconsciously that came from being from a very academic Indian family.
But now my dad always says to me, yeah, we were really shocked
when you chose to go to law school because you're always an artist.
I'm like, now you tell me why you stopped me then.
But I'm glad I'm glad for the perspective and for the network
and the brilliant minds that I come home to in Melbourne.
All of my uni mates are doing exceptional things.
Many of them are counsellors in government.
And one of them has just gone and done a master's of nuclear disarmament.
So I get a lot of stimulation from that cohort.
And it roots me to Australia in so many ways,
especially because the India-Australia link is so based on education
and what we can offer.
And both of my parents have been professors in Australia.
So I think weirdly that whole tertiary system is home for me in many ways.
I grew up on my sick days.
I was hanging out at universities when I was a kid.
So I kind of almost had no choice but to do that and get that done.
But you didn't follow the traditional path
because even though you were a brainiac, you decided,
no, I want to be a creative soul.
I am a creative soul.
I'm going to India to act.
But you didn't really tell your parents that though, did you?
No, I was very sneaky.
I was actually sitting in a law lecture at Melbourne Uni.
And the bug had bit me.
I can't even remember why it had bit me.
But I think I was hoping actually to do broadcast journalism when I was at Uni
because I did a law degree and a media and communications degree.
And unfortunately, a decade ago was a time when
there was still a bit of a paucity of opportunity for people of colour.
And that had hit me as a bit of a gut punch
because I really believed that all of the hard work I'd put in
and the skills that I was developing and I'd worked hard for
had a natural progression to career success or career opportunities.
And I didn't expect a ceiling to come crashing down on me.
But then when I paused to look around, I was like, oh, I guess that makes sense.
There's no precedent for this.
And it didn't actually dishearten me or upset me.
I just thought, OK, so now what do I do?
So I thought if I want to be a journalist, I should go to India.
So that's what sparked it.
And then I just took it to the next level.
But before we go to that next level,
I want to pick up on what you were saying about the ceiling crashing down in Australia
and what it was that some people said to you.
Well, I was in I think maybe the third year of Uni
and I did a course as a private broadcast journalism course
where you learn to be a presenter and you do your reel.
And my teacher at the time sort of said to me,
this is so great, however, you're not able to dye your hair blonde.
So I think you're going to have trouble sending in this reel
and maybe you could send it into SBS.
And then I went to do drama school part time.
Maybe that was before.
And a similar thing was said to me.
Someone said, you know, I don't think you're going to have much luck
seeing yourself on screen in Australia.
And then she looked at the Sri Lankan girl also in the class
and just said, you too, darling, you know, it's going to be hard.
And I'll always note that it wasn't with malice and it wasn't to be mean.
I think it was just talking about the status quo that we were walking into.
And it was something where, I guess, in a way,
you had to make the quick decision about where you're going to settle,
where you're going to sit on the sidelines and do the work in Australia.
Although I didn't even understand that I was so young.
I didn't even, when there's no pathway, you think there is no pathway.
So you look for where you might find something that is possible.
And that's where I started to turn my mind to Asia.
And that is what I find fascinating about you,
that you just keep on going and you have this steely determination
and this extraordinary talent and radiance.
And that just keeps moving you forward.
Thank you for those words.
Yeah, I think, you know, I find a lot of joy in the everyday things.
And I think I'm really lucky that I was blessed at a young age
with a strong spiritual compass.
And I've been able to come back to that whenever things have gotten tough.
And it sounds cliched, but honestly, for me now,
even if I never saw myself on screen again, I'd be OK with it
because I know there'd be something else that would unfold for me to do
and to put my time and my energy towards.
You know, I had a very influential grandma in my life.
My father's mum was an ascetic who was a philosopher.
And she actually lived a very nonconventional life and nonconformist life
and lived her last 30 years in meditation.
And I had a strong feminine figure in my life who was nonconformist
and was maverick in her own way.
And I will say that my mum in many ways is that way, too,
because she never quite settled, even though she was straight and narrow.
She did a PhD in Perth at UWA, ended up being a teacher and professor in Australia.
But she always knew that her heart wasn't quite settled.
And she found ways to take her career back to India.
And find ways to find happiness.
And I think that that's something that has been gifted to me somewhere.
I just know that for me, transcendence is in performing and in communicating,
whether or not it's on stage or on screen.
It's like, how do we keep this dialogue open?
How do we create empathy through intercultural communication?
And that can be any kind of storytelling.
It could be, you know, two people having a chat on the street.
That's just as fulfilling for me if I get to share in something with someone.
So knowing that that's my anchor, I think, is really helpful.
And storytelling, as you say, it is so powerful.
But I love that notion that you have about transcendence.
Tell me more about that.
Is that how you feel when you dance?
Yes, that's definitely what I was chasing, I think.
And I've been distilling this a lot in my mind,
just being in LA right now and, you know, at a real inflection point in my career.
I'm doing a lot of thinking.
I've had, in a sense, a few careers already, in a way.
And I do kind of go through this reemergence or, you know,
kind of reincarnation every few years to see where the art needs to go
and what I need to do.
And I had to remind myself of why I came to be doing this.
And that was because as a young girl,
you put me on the dance floor, everything else just faded away.
And I felt what people feel, that ecstasy,
that feeling of oneness with something bigger than yourself.
I didn't know how to explain it at the time.
Many people find that in prayer.
Many people find that in, you know, meditation.
But for me, it was through movement and losing myself to beat and music.
And I chased that feeling more than anything else.
So now I'm just remembering that I don't have to make movies
for the rest of my life if they're not giving me that.
And it's a really privileged place in which to speak
because I know that so many don't get to chase that.
So in a way, it's sort of like just following a spiritual path
and finding those things that are in Hinduism.
It's called your dharma.
And, you know, it's what you can contribute
that allows for other people to also benefit.
And that gives you that sense of freedom as you're doing it.
So I'm very anchored in that notion.
And also, too, I love that idea of that notion of
what is right for you right now.
And that isn't always going to be the case.
What was right for you in the past that worked then.
What is working for you now is what's right for you.
What would you say is right for you right in this moment?
Speaking to you because it's giving me a very, very warm sense
of that feeling of home.
And I mean, it's such a good reminder of how,
even though I might have just done a really successful film here,
you know, not losing a grasp of where my roots are
and why it is that it's important to be an artist.
And a big part of why it's important for me
is because I believe in Indian Australian representation
and making sure that whatever platform I've managed to create,
I use it in order to create more pathways for other people
that haven't had those mentors
and those precedents in front of them.
And that's the thing that's top of my mind right now.
I've had a pretty convoluted journey to get here
and it hasn't been very easy.
So I think if there can be ease
that's injected into the lives of others,
whether they're artists or, you know, teachers,
whatever they are, I think people from,
particularly from migrant backgrounds in Australia
often don't have a lot of mentorship.
And the level of privilege that I came from,
I went to a private school, you know,
my dad made me sit for every scholarship exam in town
before I got into one.
But nonetheless, I made it in
and that privilege of education
allowed for things to open up for me.
But, you know, that's coming from a family
who was well established in Australia
and my dad knew about the system
and, you know, how he might be able to help his kids today.
The population, particularly of the South Asian diaspora
is growing exponentially in Australia.
I mean, the statistic is that
Punjabi is the fastest growing language in the country.
And I don't think many people realize
that Australia of tomorrow is going to look vastly different
to the Australia of today.
So for me, it's about using this work
and creating art that can imbue
this multicultural population
with that strong sense of identity that is not polarized
and where we are open to talking about difficult things
and people are accepting that
it hasn't been really an easy run for those
who have not come from the conventional background.
And, you know, finally moving towards a place of healing there
because I know that that's impacted my life a lot
and it continues to today.
And I don't want to pretend that, you know,
I'm above all of those societal nitty-gritty things
because they were very, very prevalent in my life.
So that's the important thing today, I think.
There's a few things I want to pick up there.
First of all, how has it impacted on your life?
I think, you know, once you're made to feel
like you don't belong or you may not belong in the room,
that feeling is very hard to shake off.
And, you know, it was a baptism of fire
for most kids who grew up in the 90s in Australia.
And I think it's a global phenomenon.
It's not just unique to Australia.
I think when you have, you know, very anglicized host communities
that bring in migrants for the sake of economic welfare,
it creates sort of a role playing that happens
where our parents are expected to do the right thing,
be obedient, not muck up.
And then you're also always feeling like you're on probation.
And it creates a sort of paranoia.
And I remember, you know, my parents both have Indian accents.
My mum's very eloquent and highly educated,
but sometimes her grammar mucks up.
And I used to always just been so stressed and worried for her.
And, you know, you'd think,
I hope no one's making fun of her at uni when she's teaching.
And I'd hear her practicing sometimes in the rear view mirror,
different words where the emphasis was on different syllables
and things like that.
And I just know that that makes you constantly conscious
of not playing your part well.
And I think that's always stayed with me.
And there were other cues that I received even in the workplace
during uni when I worked at law firms and things like that,
where I could tell that my role as a young Asian woman
was to be very obedient and quiet and a good worker.
Whereas personality was sort of reserved
for people that didn't look like me, you know,
we were kind of expected to just do our job.
And I think that that makes it really hard today to,
and, you know, people wouldn't believe it,
but I find it really tough to speak up.
And I find it really tough to articulate so many things
when they happen because it brings up past trauma
of being quietened and shushed
or getting a little slap on the wrist for being too much
and not staying in your lane.
So I think it's that feeling, that unbelonging,
that has has kind of crept in at times
that I wish that it wouldn't.
I'm so sorry that you felt that way,
but listening to you describe that,
it's almost like now your life's work is to make sure
that there isn't another young girl like you
or a young boy in feeling that same way,
feeling like the other or feeling like,
oh no, I have to fit a box when that isn't my box,
because you're well and truly out of your box.
Absolutely, everything feeds into that,
whether it's as a writer, an actor, a dancer,
you know, a person who's a neighbour,
anything, any role that I partake in for me,
it's all about building empathy and breaking down bridges.
And sometimes I have to have very tough conversations
And I don't know whether it's good or bad
that I have a law degree because I can go into that mode
where I'm like, all right,
let's just call a spade a spade here.
It's a benefit and a boon.
It also occurs because I think people don't expect
that part of me to come out,
or then they just view me as that,
as a very hardened person who's just a social justice warrior.
And, you know, I think that's unfair as well,
because we can be light and shade,
we can be yin and yang.
And I like to be able to move between the two parts of myself
or the multiple parts of myself.
But I think the fundamental problem
and the hangover of having been grouped
is that when you get grouped,
you get viewed as that thing.
And then you are aware that you're influencing
how other people that might look like you
or be in that group will be regarded.
And in my case, it's like, all right, well,
I don't want to be the difficult brown woman
because that's then something that people become fearful of.
And then maybe they won't want more diversity on their team
or they might think of it as problematic or too hard.
And so it's a real tightrope to always walk.
How do you navigate that though?
Because I also remember reading, you know,
you didn't want to be, as you say, too difficult
or, you know, too tough to work with or too much.
And I think almost for women,
often it is that don't be too much when in fact,
it's the too muchness that I think is wonderful.
I agree. I agree. I love it.
I feel like in all the women that I get along with best
are all the women that might have at some point
been called too much in their life.
We have that spirit and that's our feminine energy
and that's who we're meant to be.
But it's just been constricted for so long
and controlled for so long.
And I think, you know, in feminism,
there are so many different strands.
And I think what's wonderful is that's why I love hearing you talk.
And then when I met you, I was so blown away
because often what I felt is that even if someone's a feminist
or even if someone's with a women's movement,
they might not realize that there's a subgroup
or there's an intersection there that's even more difficult
or needs a little bit more attention
or the fact that they're in a position of power
to uplift other people.
And that's the communication that sometimes gets difficult
because I think that sometimes women are not aware
of the differences that other people have gone through.
And I'm just being euphemistic now,
but, you know, I have colleagues
who was having coffee with a wonderful friend today
and she also from Australia, works in the same industry,
beautiful, beautiful woman.
And we had this really frank conversation where I said,
if we were at school together, I would have just been like,
oh my God, I mean, all of you, you are the coolest person in the world
and we would never have been able to be friends.
I was a girl with a mono brow, like the short brown girl
that I thought I felt so unattractive to all the boys
and no white boys would ever look at me in that light.
And, you know, I grew up feeling unattractive to white men
as you felt invisible as a child in that regard
or as a teenage girl, you know, in the way that your friends were not.
And she was just flabbergasted.
She went, you know, I would never have known that
and I would never have thought of that.
And I was like, but you know how much I love you
for listening to me and respecting me while I say that
and holding space for me so I can have this conversation
and living in my shoes for a little minute there
and walking away from this conversation.
And maybe when you speak to a friend of yours
that has also had a bit of minority consciousness in their life,
that empathy will grow even further.
So it is that thing of finding more space for those conversations
and, you know, sometimes they're possible
and sometimes people are defensive
and that's when it gets a little bit difficult.
But what I love about listening to you is you would keep going though.
And that's important though, because we do grow
and we find our voice and our power.
And listening to you and seeing you,
I very much feel like you're in your power now
and almost like the best is yet to come.
It ain't over yet.
Although I was just speaking to my granddad
and I think he secretly was wondering if I was busy here getting a real job.
Isn't that funny though?
It still creeps in in terms of, you know,
with the older generation thinking, oh, no, no, that's not a proper job.
When in fact, what you do, it means so much to people.
Not only does it bring people joy, we question ourselves,
we question our place in the world, we are seen, we are heard.
And I think that is a real privilege to do what you do.
Yes, it is a privilege and I constantly am grateful and thankful.
I wake up now and I'm very thankful.
And I'm thankful that I was able to withstand what I have withstood.
And I hope I have the courage to do so going forward
because there's always little things that come up.
And what I love about the way we are able to speak today
is the cultural zeitgeist allows for open hearts and vulnerability.
And I'm very vulnerable now wherever I go and with anyone I speak to,
whether it's producers, directors, a co-actor,
the guy who's driving me from A to B, you know, the airport concierge, my agents.
I think it can be overwhelming for the people with whom I'm speaking,
but I've really learned that unless we all crack open our hearts,
there's no scope for healing.
I want to take you back to your time in India.
I've never been to India.
I know it's diverse and there are so many different languages and religions,
but your time in Bollywood because it looks so glamorous and joyful and amazing.
What was it like for you, a young Aussie girl with a law degree
and then you suddenly land this role against a heartthrob
and it catapults you into this next stratosphere?
Yeah, it was wild.
It was really wild.
And I remember my dad again just being like,
I used to watch his father on screen.
I used to watch his grandfather on screen
and I can't believe it's my daughter up there, you know,
in the Whits Water Gardens or wherever they're watching it,
High Point down in western suburbs of Melbourne.
And it was such a dualistic experience
because there's on the one hand what's happening in Bombay
where I think people were like, who's this girl?
You know, she's come out of nowhere, which is not true.
I'd been working and auditioning for a few years,
but people don't see that work, right?
They just see that first big thing.
And I think what was really interesting was just
being a fish out of water yet again
and realising that I am an Aussie.
And I do have an Australian woman's thinking in many respects.
And, you know, I see humour
when other people don't find things funny.
And, you know, like I don't believe in stratification
and you're not better than me
or I'm not better than that person
because everyone's here together.
And I was really holding on to the mythology
of Australiana so dearly during my time in India.
And whether or not that served me, I still, the jury's out
because I refuse to assimilate in many respects.
I wanted to be that intelligent girl
because in Australia, people respected you
if you said you had a law degree.
They understood what it took to get there.
But I was now in an industry
where that was considered threatening
and, you know, as if you're too big for your boots.
So I think my first real interactions
were people trying to make me feel small
or put me in a box.
Because I escaped Australia so early
there wasn't any real scar around that.
I mean, looking back, I can see how subliminally there was
but not in an in-your-face way.
You know, forgetting the kids in the playground
because that's everyone.
But when I went to India, I was really shocked
because everything I'd imagined
for what hard work should beget was not the case.
And the hard work was almost, yeah,
it was almost not expected.
It's sort of like if you don't come from that place,
a lot of the people in Bollywood
already are born into families.
You know, they have someone sort of like maneuvering
behind the scenes to make sure
that they're the one that gets the role.
And I had none of that.
And I had proven quite a few people wrong
in the pursuit of my dream.
And unfortunately, I think at the time
I felt like the industry didn't love the fact
that I'd succeeded.
While it was incredible in terms of,
yes, I achieved this childhood dream,
it made me think so much about this thing
that I talk about today.
What is my dharmat?
What is the path I want to be on?
Do I want to just now be one of the cool kids in India
at the expense of so many who are sidelined
and made peripheral here as well, you know,
and to be a part of a hegemony and nucleus
when actually I possess minority consciousness?
So, you know, these were questions going through
my over-intellectualizing mind,
whereas my dad was like,
I can't believe that you made the community was going
apeshit in Australia.
And I was just like, but what does this mean?
You know, what am I contributing to?
So, yeah, the cerebral elements of my brain
always get me in trouble.
And therefore, after doing three big films,
I said I wanted to start working in Australia again
and start what's been interesting is then
when I became a working actress in Australia,
I almost had to erase my Bollywood past
from that narrative because that was so foreign
and so other in the Australian performing arts industry.
And you want to make sure that people aren't going
to judge you as a diva or so many things.
So it sort of started again.
How do you fit back in and how do you make sure?
So it's like every few years,
I just want to do this to myself.
Do you get exhausted?
I mean, there is so much that you put on your shoulders.
Are there times when you just think, you know what,
I don't have to do this for everyone,
but it seems like you carry this load with you.
Yeah, I think that's been a part of my personality
since I was a kid.
I was like this like little thinker child
and sitting in the corner and asked my mom,
are you happy, mom?
You know, and she was like, what's wrong with my child?
Just relax and play.
But I think, you know, and I meet other souls like this
where you are always wondering,
is everyone around you happy?
Am I, how am I affecting other people's energy
and how can I be of use in some aspects?
And that I wish I could just wake up in the morning
and be like, I'm just going to go to the spa today
and then grab a wine later, have a pizza and chill out.
But I just, it's very difficult,
which is where I think yoga and meditation
really help ground me.
But yes, I have gotten to a point where I'm like,
be nice to like go on a date.
And I tell you what, you would be such a catch.
Although every time I go on a date,
I come away and people are just like,
I think it was a bit intimidated by you.
And I'm like, right.
Well, then they're not worth it.
The point is the person who is going to be right for you
is someone who just is like, oh my God,
look at this soul.
She is just extraordinary.
I'm going to lift her up.
And as opposed to feeling intimidated,
I wonder where are you happiest or when are you happiest?
I think in moments of connection.
So now being one such moment,
when I speak with, when there's that resonance,
we're like two humans or more humans,
whether it's through dance, movement at a party
or on a film set, on an airplane where you just meet.
It's just that moment of humans connecting
because we don't do that much anymore, I feel.
And that's who we're, that's what it is.
It's in our DNA to do that as we're tribal people
that are meant to be in communities.
And so building community and living in community
is where joy is sparked.
I will say I get a lot of peace, ironically,
from being quite alone and introspecting.
For me, it's just living every day well
and being so grateful.
And I'm again, lucky that the spiritual path
that I was put on by virtue of my culture,
which so many people are coming to today through yoga
and through so many new mindfulness gurus and apps
and all the things that is available to us.
This is a knowledge and a culture that was passed down
for thousands of years, where I came from.
So I feel really blessed.
How lucky am I that that was already in my genes
and in my family?
So just coming back to those principles,
those first principles really grounds me
and just trying not to let the highs be too high
or the lows be too low.
Just being quite steady there and finding that equilibrium
has been really good.
I feel, talking with you, that you're always striving.
And I would love to know that there's a time
when you can feel like...
My daydream is literally sitting in the backyard
of our home in Melbourne at my childhood home
where my parents still are and the sprinklers being on
and dad with a stubby, crickets on,
the pressure cooker's going because mum's making dal
and my brother and I are watching cricket on and off
and having some silicone...
Honestly, what I imagine as peace now and chilling out
is just that image that I have of my childhood
when we first moved from Perth to Melbourne
and those hot summer days.
So that, for me, is the moment that I'll stop striving
when I can just be with my family.
And that's the pause I think that I need.
And that gives me the energy to then go back out
and be out there for everyone else.
And you are there for everyone else.
You bring me joy.
When I see you, see your beautiful face via Zoom,
when I see you on the big screen and on our TV screens,
you have this beautiful way about you.
And thank you for being you
because you are making the world a better place.
Thank you so much for those words.
You're incredible.
When I went home that day from Sydney,
I remember I flew home and I said to my mum
in my Indian accent, because it's a speech,
Mum, I met Jess Ruh and she was so nice to me.
So you left a very long lasting impression.
If I had more people like you in my life,
you know, I'd be very abundant.
I'm already abundant,
but I hope that many people get to meet mentors
like yourself in their life.
Oh, you make me cry.
That's so beautiful.
You are just an amazing woman.
I love you to bits.
And maybe even I love you more than my husband loves you.
Just tell your husband,
now you guys can go away
and find me a husband.
And then we'll just have a big Bollywood party at my wedding.
Well, I cannot wait for the wedding.
I can't wait for the dancing.
I just can't wait to give you a hug.
You're wonderful.
Well, I'll see you next time I'm in Sydney.
So much love, beautiful.
I could just talk a talk a talk to Pallavi.
Isn't she just a brainiac?
There's so much that she says that makes you think,
but also she exudes joy and this extraordinary inner beauty.
Now she is starring at the moment
in the fabulous Romcom wedding season,
which is available to watch now on Netflix.
My daughters loved it.
It's a really feel-good film for the whole family.
And it also makes you think.
And it did make me weep a little bit.
It's a beautiful movie.
Now for more big conversations like this,
follow the Jess Rowe Big Talk Show podcast.
And while you're there, leave a review,
share it with a friend, spread the word.
And if you enjoyed this episode with Pallavi,
you might like my chat with Nazim Hussain.
Bringing happiness to other people
and making them feel the way I feel
when someone does that to me fulfills me too.
So that's a really nice thing that I take from my religion,
that serving others serves yourself.
The Jess Rowe Big Talk Show was presented by me, Jess Rowe.
Executive producer, Nick McClure.
Audio producer, Nikki Sitch.
Supervising producer, Sam Cavanaugh.
Until next time, remember to live big.
Life is just too crazy and glorious
to waste time on the stuff that doesn't matter.