There have been moments where I'm like I've done enough of music maybe now's the time
and you know and then I write something and then I'm like no it's not it's not I'm not
Hi I'm Jess Rowe and this is the Jess Rowe Big Talk Show a podcast that skips the small
talk and goes big and deep.
From love to loss and everything in between I want to show you a different side of people
who seem to have it all together in these raw and honest conversations about the things
I don't know about you but in this time of social isolation I really crave connected
conversations so I'm going to dig deep to give you a new window into the souls of the
people we're curious to get to know and understand.
There might be tears as well as laughter as we celebrate the real life flaws and vulnerabilities
that make us human.
Jess Malboy is a multi-aria award-winning singer and songwriter.
She's also an actor and a coach on The Voice.
Now she first won our hearts when she burst onto our TV screens on Australian Idol.
I've wanted to get Jess on the show for a long time so we finally managed to get together
What it means is that the sound quality is a bit iffy but I tell you what the conversation
is sparkling and sensational.
Just like Jess she has an incredible sense of joy that she brings to whatever stage she's
on and I want to chat to Jess about her confidence.
Is she always so confident and also about her new music and her latest tour Aptly Named
Jess Malboy oh my goodness I'm speaking with you I am a massive fan I mean also and we're
both Jesses so I mean Jesses we're cool aren't we?
Thank you so well Jesses are always cool I'm just saying I'm just saying.
I need you to say that to my daughter because she thinks I'm exceedingly uncool but we loved
watching you so much on The Voice.
How different did you find it being a mentor opposed to actually being the person being
judged up there performing?
Being a mentor to an actual judge I think is totally different.
Being a mentor I feel like you're a listener and you know you're being guided by the artist
more so because you want them to show whatever level they're at in music so that perhaps
can give everything that you can give as advice to the artist.
I think judging is a hard one and I don't like to go that often because every artist
or every musician or anyone that's in music is entitled to be who they really are to say
what they want to say, feel what they're feeling and that come from them it felt easy but at
sometimes difficult and putting every vulnerability out there and you just don't know how the
artist is going to take it and in fact I felt like a nurturing kind of person throughout
the whole show and I loved that bit.
I loved being able to just sit there and listen and understand what this has never done before
to what they have done before and how can we collaborate to and make it feel really
solid for you and so you can go out there and you can give all that you can without
feeling like you have to step back or feeling like you have to hide back in that shell
or you know what's going to make you strong in that moment or grounding or that you feel
solid and you feel powerful that you can you know sing those lyrics and sing it all the
way up there and not be afraid to you know to hit that note.
That sense that nurturing way about you I think came through so well and I wonder as
well if that was because I mean you were judged as a 17 year old on Australian Idol so you
know exactly what that feeling's like.
This is Australian Idol, it's the grand finale for 2006.
Thank you so much for watching.
We are live from the most famous theatre stage in the world, the concert hall at the Sydney
What do you say we welcome to this stage an incredible young woman all the way from Darwin
in the Northern Territory ladies and gentlemen Jessica Malboy.
What is that like to be in the spotlight in that way?
I never really been in that environment before so I think I just had to you know just embrace
and listen and for me I felt because it was very quiet as well as a young teenager that
really allowed me to listen and just review and you know have a 360 of what is going on
let's take all of this in and then be able to put that to the song that I'm learning
with the coach and the mentor at the time and you just have to release all that kind
of hype and anxiety and vibration you know what's happening in the room into that song
and I always brought it back to well I know I'm really good at singing and if I just bring
the singing and top it every time I get up there well then I think I'm going to be okay.
When did you know that you were really good at singing?
I knew at a really young age but because I was just I wasn't so sure about it I mean
my mum aware of it when I was at least four and she would always kind of turn the music
on and you know I would power it whatever the music was I would call and answer but
when I was 11 one of my first country competitions I remember singing in front of like older
competitors and I remember just feeling oh well I'm getting this opportunity mum's just
you know has driven me all the way here along with her sisters and they entered me into
this competition I don't you know the song doesn't fit but I'm gonna do it I'm gonna
try it and I remember walking away with two trophies that day and five was in my pocket
and I knew from then not because of the trophies and the money but the applaud from the audience
an older lady had she had come in you know she had turned to my mum and she said oh your girl
she can really and I mean she bent down to me and she took she grabbed my hand and shook my hand
and yeah and said don't stop singing and yeah there was this kind of human connection and this
sense of ration of like that you know things have been done good and yeah that was kind of
the moment where I just felt fell in love I guess and I knew the feelings that it gave people I
just knew in my gut that I was gonna be doing more of this and at the same time you know there
was a big fear but there was an urge there was like a burning fire kind of urge I was like no I
want to do more and it's like I couldn't really contain it but the energy yeah I felt like you
know it was just humbled I think really grounded by having felt all those feelings when I felt
like every time I got on stage I opened up another door and that gave me extra kind of
anxiety and but also this kind of really revved my kind of blood and and this kind of heat in my
body to it took one at more so yeah I was just trying to kind of balance I think it was just
always balancing this energy and so that it wouldn't exhaust me but it also kind of gave
me power to practice more I think it was more in the practice than developed in the actual physical
performance or when I would have the opportunity to to sing in front of a crowd again and I'll tell
you what you've opened up that big sparkly door with your song glow yes this is a whole you know
what you just you really kind of to the vision it is a sparkly door and it's like it's one that
I'm really super super proud of and I think anyone with a business or anyone practicing
what they preach and having to kind of go out there constantly and and and share stories or
share your performance your melodies yeah your feels this is this is kind of the ultimate song
I really feel in the past of my writing ability it was always kind of really sacred and I would
just be one room and it would be myself and and then I would allow the producer in and then I
would share that story like this time around I've just kind of gone you know what I'm going to
release this energy let's you know whoever wants to work let's work and collaborate and we'll do
the same room and you know if we can or you know we'll talk about it on zoom and when we do get
the opportunity we'll work together when you're in town or when I'm in your hood or yeah it's been
very just such a really beautiful unfolding and how I've been able to write music this time
round and who I'm writing with is has been like a really important part in in bringing life yeah
and it's full of confidence I think it really speaks to where you're at now anyone who's in
that position where they've given everything to their one job you know have just continuously
just given given and given to particularly in music for me from the age of 11 to now 32
I've literally been in the space of music this whole time and my I guess my personal life is
has kind of slightly been left behind but I don't know if the word is lucky but I feel so
you know blessed coming out but then I also you know this kind of energy and relationship
that I have with my family and my partner I feel like I wouldn't be able to do it without them
and I haven't been able to without them so for them to give me so much love and patience like
has allowed me to do what I'm doing missing all like certain events birthdays sometimes
eastern Christmases and for me to do what I'm doing it like I sometimes I sit there and I'm
like I'm forever like in debt guys because you have given me so much time and now it's kind of
time to give back and I think the last five years I've been able to like have a more deeper connection
with my family and a physical connection and I feel like everything that's going on as well the
last few years I have been slightly separated from my family but there's this urge to kind of
want to go and see them and just be around them a lot more but yeah I honestly without their help
and their love and their patience and support I just I wouldn't be doing this and I wouldn't
be so in love with it. So let's talk about that now let's talk first of all about your family
you grew up in Darwin very close family as you're saying that at the heart of everything you do
tell me about what it was like growing up there I mean you wrote there was that beautiful song
the day before I met you about Darwin where you talk about climbing mango trees swimming in
freshwater holes and the salty ocean. Yeah it felt like just waking up in a dream every day
the beach was just there you would head down as a family or you know with my cousins and we had
the beach but we also had water holes that's where we would hang when we weren't at school
or we had kind of our weekends or picnics it would be hanging out and listening to the running water
and then climbing a mango tree to go get free mangoes so it's a place where I go fishing it's
a place where I go in the in the ute and we go bush bashing in like potholes or
where my family gathers and we cook up a storm cooking sardines or
um mom's cooking a mango salad or the goose curry or or um fish stew or oh that sounds so good
it's definitely the heart of everything and a bit of everything that I do and I just know that I can
do what I am because that's generating and it's in my mind.
And also too I'd imagine your Indigenous heritage is so very important as well as a part of that.
Yeah I grew up in such a very cultural Indigenous community you know from Arnhem Land to you know
old Pelly it was just so deep and rooted into a lot of these barangas you know in all these
communities Alice Spring family everywhere so we're constantly so well connected and just learn
you know bilingual so whether it's language or whether it's a season it's um gatherings
it's always buzzing it's always there and um I'm super proud of it born on land but also stemmed
from North Queensland from my mom's side from the Kukunalli clan to the Wakaman clan so super proud
to obviously generate like from those two communities but also Larrakia land in Darwin
in the Northern Territory is um I've kind of adopted this incredible place. Oh it sounds so
special and sometimes I find because I've been to Darwin I've been to Alice Springs and for me it's
the sky and the air and just the how you feel there but as a white woman I often feel like
I need to do better or could learn more what how can I do better or know more do you think?
I think it's just kind of being completely like aware one thing that I'm kind of working towards
and I know Isaiah Firebrace is working on this as well but um just bringing Indigenous languages
into schools and just I mean we have so many different dialects but I'm sure at some point
elders can you know within communities can talk to you know through education and a system to be
able to generate language taught at um you know schools around Australia I know they do up the
Northern Territory they do a bilingual program um but yeah it's it's still kind of forming and
being nurtured and being taken care of by elders you know it's just such an exciting time I guess
right now because messaging and conversations are being had as we speak and yeah it's uh yeah
there's there's a lot of changes you know being happening already and movements and people talking
and and gathering and listening really I think that's kind of probably the the most and I feel
like I still have to do that as well like I'm doing all these kind of little practices
in my life or wherever I'm going I make sure that I know the people of the land or you know the
the owners of the land or what land I'm landing on um wherever I may go whether it's in the
where it's in our country or else it should have a natural feel to it rather than having to try
and struggle to try but um yeah it's a very exciting time because there's a lot happening and
and um we're moving we're moving and I think that point you make though Jess about listening
I think that's what we I know I need to do more of too but listening is the key to listen not
just to talk but to listen to listen yeah you're absolutely right Jess I agree thank you I mean
you've got this amazing smile this lovely spirit this confidence and this joy that I think just
radiates out of every pore of you but but I wonder for you have there been times when you haven't
always felt like that you've spoken a bit about vulnerability have you always been as confident
as you've seen no ah there's been many many uh down moments and moments where I thought
maybe music isn't for me anymore or maybe I'm you know maybe I'm done you know with this side of
with music and particularly I'm you know being away from home so much and being away from the
people that know me the most and have seen me grow but also just know the very different layers
of me and when I'm not bubbly or when I'm as happy or you know when I'm in a mood or
I think it's that it's kind of um being away from family to be able to
to kind of give that back to them so that they know I'm okay is there a particular time or incident
when you can think yes that was when I thought that's it for me I want to walk away from the
music I'm going to do something else I think for me would probably be
yeah being away from family like there there's been moments where I'm like I've done enough
in music maybe now's the time and you know and then I write something and then I'm like no it's
not it's not I'm not done I'm not finished yet I'm meant to keep going and it's so weird because
when I do feel I'm you know done with music like you know there would be a song like just recently
I wrote a song called what it means to love you feeling this disconnection from
even my partner and my family and not kind of dedicating enough to family and and to my partner
so it's been multiple times where I've just been like okay maybe maybe I'm good maybe I'm good but
then it comes and and I write this song and it draws me back in as if I never felt that
or you know like that that sadness never existed so it's such a weird for me it's such very push
and pull kind of life experience when it comes to I love doing the most and what I know I'm
what I'm really good at versus feeling a freedom at home and and just putting my legs up or just
hanging and having a good gut laugh and enjoying and embracing moms who like oh I could totally
just give this up and go home but then comes back and it's like it's kind of doing this it's
poking me and it's like no you're not done yet you've just written a really good song and I'm
like no and then you hear the audience so addictive you hear the applause see that's right and then
it becomes like well kind of everyone you know everyone that hears or listens to the song becomes
my fan it's such a weird inception but like it music's just not for me and when I write it
it also is no longer mine then which is yeah such a um a funny thing to say but it's also
very true and how I can see and singing music is that when I get out there it's no longer
just mine anymore and when you say it's not yours anymore is that because then people listen
and it provokes emotion and things within them that they then relate their life experience to
yeah I feel like music is such a healing power for me and I think when I am going for my most
vulnerable I lean on music to be able to write those feelings down and I think one kind of
written them down and it's like well I've acknowledged it and I understand it now and
I know what I have to do and then all of a sudden it becomes a song and it's such a good feeling
because it's kind of it's meant me through this even feeling sad situation and now comes from
much better I now I'm navigating in the right direction now so yeah it's almost like you kind
of when you release that obviously it takes time to release a song but it's already kind of for me
it's already released like the feeling and and when I was feeling sad is gone you know um but
yeah I feel like if I could do that with myself imagine all the people out there who listen to
that one song and instantly it might not solve their problems but at least gives them an idea
of possibility and um a chance and I think that's what kind of really screws me back
it's like you know when I do have those moments of like now I'm done then having released that
song and then extra released it to the rest of the world it's like I'm glad I got to do that I'm glad
I was able to share these vulnerable feelings and moments that I felt confused if that happens to me
and you know I'm able to really acknowledge that and get through it I sometimes sit there and go
what does it do for somebody else surely it's like just giving magic it's giving glow it's giving
sparkle it is having someone sit in their feelings and have a bit of a cry and have a bit of a soul
or have a bit of a you know a throw something around moment um yeah you are magical the words
of your beautiful song glow I remember like mumbling it was like
and they weren't quite lyrics yet I remember at the time feeling a sense of struggle creatively
there's always going to be ups and downs with the things that you love and for me I think
creatively for the last five years it was just kind of putting together what does the ultimate
mean if there is like if there isn't okay so the last five years I've been doing a lot of acknowledging
of like looking at the catalogue of my world of music and what have I put out there and what have
I not put out there and what do I want to say next or how does a situation made me feel and
it's just kind of compiling all of these experiences and moments in my life and feeling
like welcome to my future like this new future of filtered unfiltered but also a sense of like
now kind of owning everything that I put out there I know because I've proved that it's come from me
it's it is me this is what I want to say and it just seemed so perfect to be able to
say something that felt so strong but also a slightly kind of intimidating but also being
boss and also owning and being unapologetic about owning what you are entitled to we had this
wonderful conversation with you know George Maple who was the incredible artist and writer in the
room as well as Cosmose Midnight but this woman to woman kind of banter felt like just exhilarating
and liberating and I hadn't done a lot of work and particularly writing with a lot of women
and yeah it just felt so kind of natural to kind of dive into this world of the
you know just womanly and unapologetic which is so nice and was very different
a lot of the writing experiences maybe just let me go you need to let me go let me be the one
like don't forget it divine life let it I know you're good and yes oh I just adore you everything
about you just exudes this beautiful joy and energy and confidence and you're just you are
magical you're everything that your song is so thank you for sharing and sprinkling some of your
beautiful magic onto us because you lift us all up and you make us all feel so much brighter and
better and I love you to bits I think you're amazing and and my boss lady Jess like that's
exactly what you do and I'm you know I'm so grateful uh you know to have an woman like you
to look up to um so thank you so much I admire you as well and thank you just for being incredibly
spirited and fun and courageous and and paving pathways for us so thank you very much oh you're
going to make me cry thank you that's you're incredible you're an incredible woman I thank
you so much how phenomenal is Jess Malboy I feel pretty excited that I'm also a Jess like her
perhaps not as cool but at least she did sing to me and doesn't she have the most exquisite voice
but what I found most telling was that there are parts of her that at times thought I want to walk
away from music I just want to sit here with my feet in the water and get away from it I found
that so interesting so for more beautiful big conversations like this search the Jess Rowe big
talk show podcast while you're there what you need to do is to push the follow button and add me to
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and then you will never ever miss out on an episode the Jess Rowe big talk show was presented
by me Jess Rowe executive producer Nick McClure audio producer Nikki Sitch supervising producer
Sam Cavanagh until next time remember to live life big life is just too crazy and glorious
to waste time on the stuff that doesn't matter listener