Oh, hello, my beautiful listeners.
Do you know what?
Happy birthday to us.
Happy birthday to us.
Happy birthday to the Chess Row Big Talk Show.
Can you believe we have been doing this podcast for a year?
I cannot believe it.
Thank you for all of your love and support, the beautiful messages that I get from you.
It means the world to me and to my extraordinary producer, Nick McClure.
This podcast is a labour of love.
And what we're going to be doing in this episode is celebrating our birthday.
I've always been a little bit sort of awkward about celebrating my birthday.
When I was younger, I think I didn't mind so much.
I liked to celebrate my 16th, my 18th, 21st, of course, your 30th birthday.
I remember having a huge party with a bunch of friends at a really fancy restaurant.
And that was the last big birthday celebration I had.
Because I think as I get older, there's a part of me that thinks, oh, I don't know.
I don't know if I want to celebrate.
I don't know if I want to be the centre of attention.
And in a funny way, I think it's got to do with, as well, the people that I want to celebrate with.
Those people that are in my zone one, I call them.
The people who matter to me most, who make me feel good about who I am.
You know, I don't need the big party anymore.
I'd much rather put the attention on someone else.
So if it was my birthday, I wouldn't be going woohoo.
But because it's the podcast's birthday, I am going to say woohoo because it's about more than just me.
It's about the extraordinarily big hearted guests that we have had this past year.
People that you know or that you think you know.
And they've come on this show and they have opened their hearts in the most astonishing ways.
And for that, I am so grateful.
I have learnt so much.
And that is what I want to share with you now.
What is it that I have learnt this past year?
Because do you know what?
I don't think we ever stop learning.
We always need to be open and curious about the world around us,
about the people in our lives.
I know that that keeps me alive, being open and curious.
So let me share with you what it is that I've learnt or discovered by doing the podcast this year.
All right, to kick it off, let me begin with my very first guest.
And that was Carl Stefanovic.
Come on, you know the backstory.
We worked together on The Today Show for a year.
And it was a pretty rocky time.
And that's an understatement.
Now, I hadn't spoken to Carl since I was sacked 17 years ago.
He, though, generously agreed to come onto the podcast.
There was a lot of water under the bridge.
And I tell you what, from my perspective, there was bitterness and resentment.
And I don't like feeling like that because it eats you up.
There's such negative emotions.
But for me, I found it hard to move past that.
There was always this part of me that felt heavy or I'd look at Carl's success
and there'd be a part of me that, dare I say, would feel jealous and resentful and,
hey, why is that happening to you?
And it's not happening to me.
And that's not a good place to be.
But when Carl and I sat down together, we were both nervous.
And I get sweaty when I'm nervous.
I get sweaty armpits.
And I'd even put on my heavy duty deodorant that's meant to stop you sweating.
It didn't, though.
But do you know what?
The most unexpected thing happened to me.
It was uncomfortable, but it was open and raw and honest.
Carl apologised to me.
I didn't expect that.
Because it takes a big person to say, hey, I'm sorry.
You didn't have a guy next to you who could have protected you
and helped you in the way that I should have.
And for that, I'm always sorry.
And I should have been more there for you.
So this is part of why I'm here today is to apologise to you.
I wish I'd been a better person, a better man, and a stronger man,
not just for myself, but for you.
I feel very bad about that.
Thank you for saying that.
That means so much to me.
Legitimately, I feel genuinely sorry.
But at the time, I wasn't a good host.
And I certainly wasn't a great co-host.
You know, I'm not crying.
And hearing those words from Carl meant so much to me.
And I hadn't expected it to have the impact that it did.
It lifted a weight that I'd been carrying.
I didn't mean to be carrying it, but it was there.
It was my baggage.
And I felt lighter after our conversation.
And for that, I'm forever grateful to Carl for his braveness,
for his willingness to be vulnerable,
and that he was open to saying, you know what?
If I had my time again, I would have done it differently.
So what a way to start the podcast.
My darling husband, Petey, was also one of my guests.
And do you know what, listeners?
It took some convincing to get him on.
I really had to twist his arm.
And I kept having to persist.
And he was reluctant because he's someone who he doesn't
like to talk about himself.
And what a surprise.
He's married to me.
I love to talk about myself.
But Petey doesn't.
Petey likes to put the spotlight onto other people.
He likes to give other people their moment.
But I was really passionate about wanting
to show people that other side to my husband.
Petey has the biggest heart.
He is such a good, decent man.
And I wanted to share that with you.
So I got him into the studio.
It had been an especially busy week for him.
When my husband gets tired, he yawns a lot.
So he's sitting opposite me.
And I'm like, come on, Petey.
I need you to focus.
So I'd start the interview.
And then he'd drift off a bit.
And he'd rub his eyes.
And then I thought, OK, what can I do?
I gave him a banana.
He needed a banana for some energy.
So I really had to work hard on getting it out of him.
Because again, he didn't want to open up too much about himself.
He still wanted to deflect and talk about other people.
But once I got him there, we had such a beautiful conversation,
a conversation where we were both in tears.
And I didn't expect that.
I didn't expect that we'd cry the way we did.
And what I learned through that conversation was,
I know how amazing Petey is.
But you know what?
It was a reminder for me of his goodness,
often in the routine of daily life, the grind of school drop-offs,
cooking dinner, me having a messy house, all those sorts of things.
Sometimes you can forget about the magic of your partner.
And so to be able to sit down with Petey and have this conversation,
it was such an important reminder to me of how special this man is
that I've married.
And it wasn't long after I came home one night,
and I couldn't wait to get home.
And we had couches that faced each other in our living room in our then home.
And I said, how are you going, you know,
expecting it to be all beautiful and beautiful little family
with the cat and the new kid and our house?
And what else could be better?
And you said, not good.
I said, what do you mean, not good?
How could you not be going?
Well, and then bang, the floodgates opened.
And I thought, shit, this is very real.
And I remember coming across and giving you a big hug
and saying, everything's going to be all right.
I know the best decision of my life was marrying Petey,
but it was a wonderful reminder for me never, ever to take him for granted.
Oh, my goodness, the moment when I got to sit down and talk with Keith Urban.
Now, Keith is the coolest of the cool.
I mean, he is a rock star.
And I was nervous.
I was nervous about sitting down and interviewing Keith.
And I'd met Keith before.
We talked before.
But that idea of actually sitting down,
talking to him about things that mattered to him
really did make me break out in a bit of a sweat.
I did spend a lot of time, obviously, researching, but also,
and I know I talk a bit about clothes and outfits,
but I also thought I've got to really bring my fit,
as my teenage girls call it, meaning bring my outfit,
my A-game to this interview.
So I wore a cat suit with leopard print.
And do you know what Keith said to me?
And so some of those nerves settled as we sat down.
I mean, you are so cool.
You're the one that looks like you've just come
from the cocktail party.
I mean, you've just stepped out of the club
to do this quick podcast.
Well, I'm meeting a rock star,
so I thought I've got to wear leopard print
and a cat suit and, you know, bring my A-game, so to speak.
You always bring your A-game, Jess.
And we recorded our interview in between The Voice.
He was in Australia at the time as a coach on The Voice.
So we were in one of the rehearsal rooms
and we were sitting face to face
and he opened himself up in the most phenomenal way.
And I was really struck by how self-aware Keith is.
He is such a wise man.
I mean, if I could have Keith in my cupboard
and just open up my cupboard every now and then and say,
how do I deal with this or how do I manage this?
How do I think about this?
Because he said something that really stuck with me.
I'd never heard this phrase before.
He spoke about avoiding shine blockers.
Don't be a shine blocker.
And I'd never heard that term before.
And essentially what it is about is
don't let people take your energy.
Don't let people be negative ninjas and bring you down
and take away that essence of what it is to be you.
Don't let them diminish your sparkle.
But the thing that really landed with me
was that he said, remember,
you can be your own worst shine blocker.
And I thought, yes, how true is that?
How many times had I been my own shine blocker?
How many times had I had that negative soundtrack
in my head about not being enough,
not being quite up to the job?
Being a failure as a mom,
not being the right sort of person,
all those sorts of things that we can often do in our heads.
We've got to stop it.
Golly gee, the amount of times
I'm making things so hard for myself,
I'm like, why am I doing this?
That I should be supporting myself here.
I should be the first person to believe in what I'm doing.
The ego gets involved.
And I always thought the ego was just about grandiosity,
but ego is complete insecurity and pummeling me as well.
That's ego as well.
Ego is the fireman that rushes in to put out my fire.
And it turns out was also the arsonist
that lit the damn thing.
How did you get so wise?
How do you just know these things?
They're just things that I can start to realise
And I try and be aware of this little thing.
And to me, I now use that phrase.
I say, come on, come on, Jess, don't be a shine blocker.
And I even, I use it with my girls.
So that is something that I really learnt.
I'm someone who, as you know, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I laugh big, I cry big, I share it all.
So of course there were gonna be some tears
during the podcast this year.
And I've come to learn that crying is not a sign
of being weak or being vulnerable.
It's actually an incredible privilege
to be able to be really present in that emotion,
And there've been a couple of times
when I have had tears with my beautiful guests.
Something that really sticks out
was when I spoke with Jackie Oh.
Now I've been lucky to know Jackie over the years
and she is a powerhouse.
She is the most influential woman,
I reckon, in Australian media.
She's also big-hearted.
She shares so much of herself every morning on the radio.
So you very much feel like you know her.
But of course, we don't know everything.
And I was really moved when she shared with me
her hopes for the future.
What I would really love is to, it's a simple thing
and it's nothing to do with career at all.
I'd love to find a partner
because I'd just love to sit at the dinner table
with someone and have dinner.
That's what I yearn for.
And that's the thing I miss most about my old life,
Oh, darling, yeah.
Oh, I'm giving you the biggest hug, Jackie.
It's a funny thing what we miss.
It can be the littlest things, you know.
And for me, it's having that family time
at the dinner table.
It's like, that used to be my favourite part of the day.
So I don't have that now.
And I think I will get that back.
But as I said, I wanna wait, you know, a little bit longer.
And to be in the moment with Jackie
as she was in tears, I was in tears.
Nick, our amazing producer, was in tears as well.
And I think there's something incredibly special
about being able to share those moments with people.
And for me, that has meant so much about the podcast
because I think that is how we connect with one another.
It's how we feel understood.
It's how we feel heard.
And I think by Jackie sharing that vulnerability,
was also this sense of there are times
when all of us have felt vulnerable or alone
and dreamt of that time
that we wanna share with someone else.
And I know for Jackie, there is gonna be that time one day.
I held Indira Naidu's hand as we spoke about her grief
and the healing power of nature
that has helped her deal with the death of her sister.
And those beautiful big eyes of Indira's
just filled with emotion and tears
as we spoke about grief.
It's just a sense of disbelief and why
that you keep asking yourself,
which when you lose someone isn't helpful
because there is no answer to the why.
You can go through it over and over and over.
Why did this happen?
Why didn't you get the mental health support
you needed to get at the time?
Why wasn't it enough to live for your husband
and your daughter?
I mean, come on, it was an amazing life you had.
But if you stay in the why, it just drives you crazy.
So you've got to at some stage,
well, I did, accept this thing had happened
and then try to find meaning in it.
And the meaning for me was I had that time with her
and we had amazing adventures together.
So yeah, that was how I found the meaning.
And these are the kinds of conversations
that are so hard to have.
I find them difficult.
So to be able to open up in a way with Indira
was such a privilege for me.
For her to share what she has been through
meant so much to me.
And I know it meant so much to our listeners.
Madeleine West is someone that I connect with
on so many different levels.
She is a creative soul.
She's got six kids.
I mean, to me, that's enough, six kids.
But also where we connect is through very much
our notion of kindness and the importance
that both of us place on being kind
and how kindness is underrated.
And Madeleine shared with me her experience
of the kindness of strangers.
And this was something that made me cry
when she shared how she was going through
a particularly traumatic time in her life.
She was reliving her terrible anxiety over a bus accident
and she knew she had to face her fears.
And the way that she was going to do it
was by going back to where it happened.
And she broke down in a very public place.
But this woman who she didn't know
came along and was with her
and stayed with her for most of the day.
She hasn't spoken to this woman since
even though she tried to track her down.
And it was such a demonstration for me
of the kindness of strangers
that we often invest in relationships
where it's like a give and take.
There's some kind of an agenda that's transactional.
There was nothing transactional about it.
At the end, I thanked her and I said,
oh, can I take you out for lunch or something?
And she just said, no, just be happy.
And I don't even have her number.
I don't even know her surname, but she was there for me.
And it taught me the power of kindness.
But what I learned through that conversation is,
first of all, we never know
what someone else is going through.
We never know what someone else might be carrying.
But also we never know what our actions can mean to someone.
That random act of kindness
changed the course of Madeleine's life.
So never forget those seemingly small
or they might be big things
that we can do for people, not even people we know,
people that we might pass in the street,
people that we smile at and say,
oh, gee, I love your energy today.
I mean, I'll say that,
but sometimes people will look at me and like,
oh my God, who is that lunatic?
But I am very aware of the people around me
and thinking, you know what,
they might not have spoken to anyone today
or someone might not have even smiled at them today.
We all want to feel seen.
And that is what that conversation
with Madeleine West showed me.
Do you know what else has been such a joy
of doing this podcast is not only the insights
that I've got from my guests, from what they've told me,
what I've learnt from them,
but also the insight that they've given me
into their worlds.
And that is thanks to technology.
When we began this podcast, we were in the pandemic.
We were locked down.
So a lot of the time, of course,
we couldn't be meeting face to face.
Thanks to the joys of Zoom and the interwebs
and all the tech stuff,
we could still have these incredible conversations.
And it meant I was getting a window
into these different people's worlds.
So for example, Osher Ginsburg.
Now he is someone who I've known for many years.
We first met when we worked together at Channel 10.
His story is just mind blowing.
But what probably didn't surprise me about him,
one of the few things that didn't surprise me
was how organised he was.
He has his own studio at home
because of course he podcasts himself.
So he had these great headphones, a fabulous microphone.
He was across it.
He knew all of that tech stuff.
Now, Dani Minogue, who I have had the biggest girl crush on,
I don't know for how long,
we also spoke to her via Zoom.
She also was super organised.
That doesn't surprise me.
Here is a woman who I think has always known
what she wants to do.
And as she gets older, more and more,
she bases her choices on, well, what brings me joy?
That is how I'm going to decide whether or not I do this.
I think joy is the most valuable thing.
You can't put a price on that.
And it's been interesting,
like just going into the start of COVID,
there was the TV show that came on, Marie Kondo,
clearing out your space
and how that affects the way you feel.
And it was when she put it into words, what sparks joy?
And then if you start asking yourself that
in everything that you do,
from your work to what's around you,
All those feelings are there.
They tell you what you should be doing
and you've just, you've got to follow them.
I know we're about more than skin deep,
but Dani was just glowing out of the Zoom screen.
So she said all of this amazing stuff,
but I couldn't take my eyes off that face of hers
and those expressive eyes.
And she was so generous and big hearted.
Now, Jess Malboy is another woman who to me exudes joy.
There's just something about her energy and her vibe.
But what was hilarious about chatting to Jess
was I did this recording from home.
Most of the time during the year,
I've been lucky enough to come into the studios here
So I don't have to think about pushing buttons
and all of that sort of stuff,
but I had to record Jess Malboy from home.
And my room where I had the computer,
it is not soundproofed.
I could hear my daughters carrying on
like pork chops in the background.
Petey, who when he speaks quietly, he booms.
He has this way of booming his voice through the house
and also is one of those people that likes to talk
on his phone, but on speaker.
So I'm hearing all of these phone conversations on speaker
that Petey's ringing people.
My girls are arguing and I'm trying to focus
on the amazing Jess Malboy.
And also while Jess and I are talking,
she was wherever she was.
I don't think she wasn't at home.
She was at a recording studio.
There was a lovely curtain behind her,
but it was a bit of a dropout zone with the sound.
So we'd be getting going
and then there'd be a bit of sound dropout
and a bit of sound dropout.
But Jess being the wonderful professional person
that she is, she just kept going
while I'm trying to block out
all of this crazy sound behind me.
What though was the best bit of that interview,
I thought was when she was singing to me.
Maybe just let me go.
You need to let me go.
Let me go, like, don't forget it.
Divine, like, let it.
I know you're good at this, yes.
I just adore you.
Everything about you just exudes this beautiful joy
and energy and confidence.
And you're just, you are magical.
You're everything that your song is.
So thank you for sharing and sprinkling
some of your beautiful magic onto us
because you lift us all up
and you make us all feel so much brighter and better.
And I love you to bits.
I think you're amazing.
And my boss, like, that's exactly what you do.
And I'm so grateful to have you to look up to.
So thank you so much.
I admire you as well.
Thank you just for being incredibly spirited
and fun and courageous and paving pathways for us.
So thank you very much.
You're incredible.
You're an incredible woman.
Thank you so much.
Do you know another person who is pretty special
He's an amazing chef.
I spoke to Curtis from his house in LA
because we wanted to get great sound.
Curtis broadcast from his wardrobe.
Let me tell you, listeners, it's very tidy.
Unlike mine, all the doors were closed.
It looked very neat.
But what was so cool was there was Curtis Stone
talking to me about party pies and caramel slice
while we had a lovely glass of wine while we were chatting.
So that was a bit of a treat
to get a glimpse into Curtis's life.
Amazon Candice Warner really is a woman to behold.
I'd love to have some of her toughness and resilience,
but do you know what was super divine about Candice?
She's got two little girls.
She couldn't find headphones,
but she managed to find some smiggle headphones.
For those of you with little kids,
you know the power of smiggle.
They have all those lovely smelly pencils and rubbers
and pencil cases and lunchboxes,
but they also have those headphones that have pandas
and pussycats and raccoons and all sorts of things on them.
So there I am chatting with Candice.
She's sitting on her floor, leaning against her bed
with the smiggle headphones on, bearing her heart to me.
Yeah, well, I would probably feel
like I've been rock bottom quite a few times,
but every time I'm there,
such beautiful things come of that.
And at the time you think there's no way out,
but you learn so much from those places.
But to me, seeing that image of this beautiful woman,
a mom, a superwoman, an Amazon combining
really was something incredibly special.
Another Amazon is Lisa Curry.
I had wanted to talk to Lisa since I began the podcast
because she is someone who just wows me
in so many different ways.
I was nervous talking with Lisa
because of the enormous sadness that she's had in her life.
And I was nervous about talking with her about it
and not wanting to upset her too much.
So it was a balancing act, this interview.
And Lisa though was so generous.
So what did I learn from Lisa Curry?
Oh, there is so much there.
I think the main thing that stuck with me
is to just keep going, to put one foot in front of the other.
When you think you possibly cannot get out of bed,
to just sit up, to put your foot on the floor,
just to take it one step at a time.
And here is a woman who is doing that.
You know, you put on a happy face, you keep getting up,
you keep doing what you do, you know,
I speak on the circuit and you stay inspiring
and motivating and then walk out and fall in a heap.
You know, just, it's hard to keep that strong face on.
And I think it's, I don't know, I've,
people say, oh, you're so brave, you're so strong.
I don't feel it at all.
I just, I don't know, I'm crying mess half the time.
I'm a bit of a crybaby over anything.
There've been moments of conversations with people
where I get goosebumps, where things just sort of stop.
And there was such a moment when I was talking
to Mitch Tambo, he's such a spiritual guy.
And the moment when he gave me those goosebumps
was when he was talking about how his songwriting,
which he was doing in his kitchen,
how that was helping him celebrate the power
of his indigenous identity,
because he was writing in his traditional language.
And he spoke about how he could feel his ancestors
there with him in the kitchen as he was writing his songs.
I would get to a point in just singing and jamming out
once I'd created the loops that I didn't feel alone anymore.
Like I felt this abundance of spirit,
like just fill the room.
Like, yeah, it's hard to explain,
but I felt like there was all these other,
like I guess ancestors and people in the kitchen with me.
I had my eyes shut just singing
because I would just layer the loop.
I wouldn't do harmonies or anything.
I would just sing over it.
Like sometimes like 20 times it'd be that layered.
And I'd just get this overwhelming feeling.
And I knew that it wasn't me.
Like it was much bigger than me.
And like through this expression just opened me up
to starting, I suppose, to gain this deeper understanding
of the true power when we connect to our language.
And I feel like everyone has that capability
of connecting to mother tongue, so to speak.
Sophie Monk is one of my favourite women.
She's self-deprecating.
She laughs at herself.
She's just fantastic.
The other thing too about Sophie is she says it as it is.
Sophie does love to swear.
And as you know, I'm not a fan of swearing.
And not a lot will shock me because my daughters do swear,
even though I don't like it.
But Sophie did leave me speechless.
When we were talking about body image
and what's sexy and what's beautiful
and the sort of struggles that Sophie had had early on
to accept her body shape.
And I wish someone told me back then,
it's confidence that's sexy.
You know, I'll never forget once I was sitting down
and I, you know, dieting and all that stuff.
And this lady walked in a room.
She would have been size 20 or something.
But I've never, I felt like I almost got a boner.
Like she was so sexy the way she owned her curves
and like sat in a chair and I was like,
that's sex appeal, you know?
Like it's confidence.
And that's what people are attracted to, you know?
I think that's gorgeous.
And essentially her point was though
that this woman was so confident.
She oozed confidence in her skin.
And for her, that was what was sexy.
And that was what almost gave Sophie Monk a boner.
And that was what left me speechless.
And there's not a lot that leaves me speechless,
but Sophie Monk, you did it.
You really made me go.
Where do I go with that?
Naseem Hussain is someone that makes me laugh until I cry.
The skits that he does are just so funny.
They're thought provoking.
They make you think, but they're also so cheeky
and they're so gutsy.
And I was really keen to talk to Naseem about his comedy
and about how he makes his way through life.
And what I learned through that conversation
was the importance of faith in Naseem's life.
How that helps him see his way in the world
and how it gives him a sense of giving back to people.
Bringing happiness to other people
and making them feel the way I feel
when someone does that to me, fulfills me too.
So that's a really nice thing that I take from my religion,
that serving others serves yourself.
And I felt enormously privileged
to have that sort of conversation with Naseem.
We don't often talk about faith
or meaning of things in our lives.
And so I learned from Naseem to question,
well, how do I make my way through life?
Faith isn't big for me, but how I carry myself is important.
The sort of impression that I leave on people around me
So what am I doing with that?
Am I doing it the best way I possibly can?
Anyone of a certain age, of course, no spandau ballet.
So you can only imagine my excitement
when I got the chance to be interviewing
the lead singer, Tony Hadley.
It was gold, gold.
I was dressed in gold.
I wore my sparkliest outfit.
But can you imagine my disappointment
when he's a baby boomer, I'm a Gen Xer.
He's not so great at technology like me.
He couldn't see me on the screen.
It was one of those typical sort of moments
when older people get together
and they're trying to work out,
do you hold your phone this way and that way
and turning it around?
And it was so uncool, but I loved it
because I thought here is this guy
that I had the biggest crush on as a teenager
and he's got his phone upside down
and he's walking around and I'm looking up his nose
and he's trying to get it right
and I'm trying to dance in my gold for him to see me.
But anyway, we got there eventually,
but it was a pretty special moment.
You are a heartthrob still
and you very much were a heartthrob in spandau ballet.
Like you were the spunky guy in the band.
What was that like?
To be honest, I've never taken it that seriously.
Yeah, I know it sounds weird.
I think you've got to be very careful with fame.
As they say, well, you know, old cliche,
fame's a very fickle thing.
And you can't really believe the hype all the time
because in this business, one minute you're up,
one minute you're down,
one minute you're being screamed at and one minute you're not.
See, that is why I love doing this podcast
because you never know what each interview will bring.
Julia Morris is such a fabulous woman.
She is someone that makes me laugh.
She makes me think.
And she also makes me feel good about myself and who I am.
So after we chatted, I left the studio feeling lighter.
I felt empowered.
And I also had a sense of the best is still to come.
That I'm not going to settle for where I am now.
I'm going to use what I've learnt and keep going,
keep pushing myself.
And also, I'm going to stop explaining.
I mean, I explain less and less the older I get
because I care less about what people think.
But Julia really made me think,
no, you don't need to do that.
Look at what you can do.
You just keep on going and just wait and see what's next.
There's a real confidence in knowing what you're doing.
And I have definitely stopped explaining things twice.
I think as I was younger, I'd be like, yeah, but it is,
because, you know, they have this sort of desperate need
to get, I am across it.
Now at 50, I'm probably going to say it once.
If you don't listen,
there's nothing really I can do for you.
Olympic champion Stephanie Rice is extraordinary.
Now I'm lucky enough to call Steph a friend.
I learnt so much though from Steph when we chatted.
She is someone who is incredibly focused.
I don't think I've ever spoken to someone
who has such a focus on what she needs to do
and how she can achieve it.
She really taught me about the power of your mind,
the power of your mind to psych you into something,
but also to psych you out of doing something.
What I loved about talking to Steph
was that she taught me about using our minds
to visualise something happening,
to visualise something powerful happening,
to take ourselves through step by step
what it is that you want to achieve.
There's so many scientific studies
on the power of the mind and visualising
and essentially you go through the same neuro patterns
when you close your eyes in like daydream
or visualise something happening
as you do when you physically do it.
Okay, we're not all going to be Olympic swimmers,
but there might be something that you feel nervous
You're going to be speaking in front of your colleagues.
You're going to be going to an event
or something that's very much out of your comfort zone.
What Steph taught me was to picture in your mind
each step of you doing that,
what you're wearing, walking into the room,
feeling positive in the room, doing the speech,
doing whatever it is that you feel frightened of,
but seeing you doing it in a really positive, powerful way.
And I tell you what, it works.
David Wenham is an extraordinary actor
and I can't take my eyes off him when he's on the screen.
He's someone who is able to embody
whatever character he is playing.
And I learnt through chatting with him
about how those moments happen,
how for him, a great actor is about doing all your prep,
knowing your lines, but then almost discarding that
when you come to be on stage or to be on set.
So you're really present in that moment.
All you have to do is two things
and they seem very, very simple things
is listen, listen real, think, think real.
If you do those two things, everything else falls into place.
And it seems such a simple thing,
but I can tell you that 90% of actors
don't actually do either of those things.
And he said, that is where the magic lies.
He said, it's happened a handful of times in his career.
And that's happened when he's been alongside women
like Toni Collette, Nicole Kidman and Cate Blanchett.
And he said, it's almost this sense of
neither of you are quite sure what's going to come next,
but because you've done the work,
you are there in that moment
and that can take you anywhere.
And isn't that exciting?
I love that sense of being present.
We're not all going to be award-winning actors,
but more and more I think we need to be present
I try and do that.
I juggle so much in my mind,
but if I can strip that back and actually be there now,
like as I'm chatting with you now,
here I am with the microphone,
I'm waving my hands around and I love it
because I love to think of you there listening to me chat.
And I really hope that you're taking something away
from this conversation.
My eyes really opened up when I sat down
to talk with Courtney Act.
Now I consider myself pretty aware
when it comes to issues of gender and identity.
I think I know it.
Courtney set me straight.
Perhaps maybe that's not the right turn of phrase,
but Courtney really helped me to come to grips
with the idea of what identity is about.
I realised I had a lot to learn
and Courtney is just this beautiful soul.
You know, I'd taken a little bit of extra time
with my makeup that morning,
but I felt shiny and unkempt next to her.
I felt a little dishevelled
and she was just extraordinary and so beautiful.
I couldn't take my eyes off these blue eyes of hers,
but she obviously is so much more than that.
She is so self-aware, but also so honest and vulnerable.
And as I said, I learnt so much.
I mean, there were some moments
when I was clutching my pearls thinking,
oh, because she's very open
when it comes to talking about sex,
about what it means to have sex.
And she also made me consider
that there is so much in mainstream media
that is about straight sex,
you know, that sort of straight lifestyle.
I didn't realise the impact that that has on kids
who go, that isn't me.
I don't see myself reflected on the screen.
And Courtney very much set out to be that person
that she was yearning for when she was growing up.
And she continues to push boundaries,
to make us feel uncomfortable, to make us question.
Also as well, talking with Courtney,
I sort of was grappling with, well, how do you identify?
You know, I needed the answer.
I needed it to be wrapped up in a beautiful bow.
But she really made me think about,
well, no, it's not about that.
It's not about wrapping things up
in a simple, easy to understand bow.
I'm Shane and I'm Courtney.
And I think they're two ends of the same stick.
And just as you might go to a red carpet event
and you get your makeup done and your hair done
and you put on a gown,
I think that's all it is for me as well.
Maybe accidentally I have two names.
I think I would almost prefer if I just had one name
because I think people see me as two different people
when actually I'm consistently me.
I'm just wrapped differently, I guess, on the outside.
All right, you know I love the sound of my own voice,
but I do have to wrap it up.
I want to mention all of my guests.
I wish I could because you're all so extraordinary.
My guests, each and every one of you have been openhearted,
generous, vulnerable, and you've taught me so much.
And for that, I am forever thankful.
So thank you and big love to each and every one of you.
Of course, I must thank you, my wonderful listeners,
because without you, there would be no podcast.
It means the world to me to get your feedback,
to get your messages on Insta, on TikTok,
when I'm standing in the line at the supermarket,
when you come up and say, oh, I love your podcast
or that was such a great interview.
Do you know that means more than you could ever imagine?
Because my beautiful producer and I,
we don't work in a vacuum.
We work with you.
This is a conversation with you.
We want you to feel heard, understood.
We want to entertain you.
We want to make you laugh.
We want to make you feel like you have a place in the world.
And without you there, we wouldn't be here.
So thank you so much.
I cannot believe it has been a year already.
Here is to many more years to come.
I send you all of my love and thanks
and stay tuned for our next episode.
The Jess Rowe Big Talk Show was presented by me, Jess Rowe,
executive producer, Nick McClure,
audio producer, Nicky Sitch,
supervising producer, Sam Kavanagh.
Until next time, remember to live big.
Life is just too crazy and glorious
to waste time on the stuff that doesn't matter.