How are you? How's your week been? Now in between my guest chats, you know that I love
to have a talk about stuff that I've been thinking about. It might be something that's
happened in my life, it might be something in the news, or it's something that I want
to share with you. So my big question this week, is the term housewife offensive? What
do you think when you hear the term housewife? Do you mind being described as a housewife?
Are you a housewife? Now for me, I find nothing offensive about the term. And I'm someone who
you might say is easily offended, given I don't swear and I'm always standing up for everyone.
But for me, the term housewife, I embrace it. Let me tell you why I embrace it. I'm a proud,
crap housewife. I'm sure some of you know that, and I'm sure some of you also are proud,
crap housewives. So I've never really thought, oh, is there a problem with this particular word
housewife? But what got me thinking about it was I was chatting to a journalist the other day
and she was interviewing me about my new cookbook that I've done with the Australian Women's Weekly.
It is called the Everyday Not So Crap Family Meals. So I was doing an interview about it
and this particular journo, who's the same age as me, said I was talking with some of my younger
colleagues in the office and some of them don't like the term housewife. They think it's old
fashioned. It's not relevant anymore. So that got me thinking. Yes, the term housewife,
if we think about a fifties or sixties housewife, yes, it does conjure up images of perhaps a
Stepford wife and someone who's immaculately dressed but very unhappy on the inside because
they're not fulfilled. But for me, housewife and being a crap housewife is all about owning that
term and in a way, it's about reimagining it, giving it power and having a laugh at it. I mean,
really, as we know, life is far too short not to laugh at ourselves. And I think this quote
sums up the whole idea of being a housewife or housework perfectly. Now, Phyllis Diller,
for those of you who are of my vintage, you may remember her as this quirky, fabulous, crazy
comedian who had blonde hair everywhere, lots of smudgy makeup. I've always been interested
in housework. I never did any. But she was smart and she was one of the first female comedians to
make a name for herself in the States. As you know, we are living in the midst of the world's
greatest sexual revolution. And what do you want to bet? I end up on the losing side.
And one of her most wonderful quotes that I love is, housework can't kill you, but why
take the chance? And here is this wonderful woman who came to light in the 60s and 70s
saying this as a phrase. So we have been shouting long and loud about, no, we are more than housewives.
And so for me, that is why the term housewife isn't offensive. I'm a crap housewife. And for me,
how this term came into being was a number of years ago when my daughters were teeny tiny
and I was in the trenches, you know, that time when really it is exhausting. Anyone with little
kids, it is hard work. And I really was drowning in housework and little people. My laundry baskets
were taking over my life, my stairs everywhere. And I remember talking to a friend and her kids
were of a similar age and we were sort of sharing our war stories. And I think it's
really important that there are people you can talk to about how hard it is during those times,
how boring it is, how routine it is, and how really I did feel like a part of me was dying
on the inside. My brain had gone on holidays and I thought, what has happened to me? This vibrant
person who could interview people. Now I'm having debates about does Elmo have a penis?
And then, you know, I'd be having these discussions with my daughters going,
how have I gone down this rabbit hole? Why did I even say yes? And they were like, but where is it?
And I said, it's hiding under his fur. And I remember later going, why did I even say that?
Why didn't I just say, he's a muppet? No, he doesn't. Why didn't I say that? Instead,
I had to have a debate about whether or not he had a penis. So anyway, I was sharing these sorts
of stories with my friend. And one particular thing that came up was that we were not great cooks.
And also that comparison was happening because at the time I was feeling pretty inadequate.
I'm not a great cook. I was messy. I always have been messy. I mean, I'm diverting slightly, but
when I was young, my mum used to put the kitty litter tray in my bedroom. It was my job to
change it. I couldn't be bothered. So mum said, well, you are going to live with it.
But I still wouldn't change it. Isn't that shocking? So from an early age, I've been messy.
That has not changed. But what would happen was during this time when my kids were little,
I'd look around at other people with kids and I had this idea that everyone else had it all
together. And I was the only one who didn't. And you know, when you have that voice in your head
thinking, oh, what's wrong with you? Everyone else has these very well behaved children who
aren't asking about Elmo's penis and they have very neatly brushed hair. Whereas my children had
knots in their hair and would be wearing an interesting combination of clothes and mainly
pyjamas. I mean, really looking back now, why did that worry me? I love living in my pyjamas.
But at the time in those early days, when you're really questioning, am I doing it right? I now
know there's no wrong or right way. There are many ways to get it right. But I was talking with my
girlfriend. She was saying to me, do you know that there are some people who post on Facebook
what they pack their children for lunch? I thought she was joking. She said, no, no, have a look. So
I had a look and I also had a look on Instagram and oh my goodness, here were these immaculate
lunches, you know, with pirate shaped sandwiches, watermelon cut into star shapes and rock melon
in balls. I mean, I don't know how you get rock melon into balls. There was fruit on skewers and
there was fun-free, nut-free, boring-free, like sort of bars of nothingness, no sugar anywhere.
And I saw these pictures and there was a part of me that died a bit on the inside. I was thinking,
oh no, I don't do that. I must be a really bad mum. I make veggie sandwiches. We have tiny teddies.
We have treats. And so yes, I was thinking, uh oh, I'm setting my kids up for a lifetime of low IQ,
bad food choices and obesity. That was the voice in my head. But then I thought, wait a minute,
I am not going to go down that path of judging myself based on what other people are doing.
And these are people I don't even know and dare I say, I probably wouldn't even like if I knew them.
They'd be very tedious and boring people. I mean, we all want a bit of sugar in our lives.
So I said to my friend, okay, enough is enough. I am going to start posting to Instagram with the
hashtag crap housewife, what I in fact cook for my family every night. So I began to do this for me,
to make myself feel better, to stop judging myself and also to share it with people,
to sort of in a way feel freer with what I was doing and also give other people permission to
also go, you know what, it's okay if we serve up brown food for our family. I mean, there was a lot
of brown coloured burnt things in those early days, a lot of burnt sausages.
So what began as something that I did for myself to have a laugh at myself, calling myself a crap
housewife, resonated with a whole lot of other people, a lot of fellow crap housewives. And I
know you're there listening to me. If you're a crap housewife, I want you to now stomp your feet,
wave your hands in the air, toot your horn. Crap housewives of the world,
unite. We are all here for each other. That is why for me, the term housewife is not offensive.
The term housewife is about empowerment. It's about doing life on your own terms.
It means different things to different people. For me, it's about owning my imperfection,
my inadequacies in the kitchen, in my daily messy chaotic life, as we all do. But also for me,
it's about owning what I'm good at, owning my high points, and that is talking to you.
So I do get why some people may think the term housewife, if we apply it in the 50s and 60s,
is old fashioned, is offensive, isn't right to be used now. But come on,
let's embrace being a crap housewife, being a new age housewife, about earning and owning
all the different parts of our personality. And I think as women sometimes there is that sense of
to be, you know, in inverted commas, a modern woman, a feminist. We can't have all these other
parts of our lives also happening. We can't be proud of what we do at home,
at what we do for our families, about how we care for our older parents, for our friends.
No, that is something that we need to celebrate and embrace and be proud of. It is not something
to put yourself down over, you know, that sense of, oh, I'm just a mum, or I'm just a housewife,
or I'm just anything. No, you are not just anything. You are enough. And I know you hear
me say this to you. You are enough in each and every way, my beautiful listeners. You may be a
crap housewife like me. You may not be. You may revel in being neat and tidy and organised. I know
I've spoken to you about my beautiful friend, Niecy, Denise Drysdale. She stayed with me last
week and there she is rolling her eyes at me, cleaning out my fridge, saying, oh, there was
some very old food here in the back. I don't know what it is, but I've just chucked it out.
And then she's got everything neatly done for me. She loves doing that. I don't. But that's OK.
That is why saying you're a housewife is not offensive. It, in fact, is sensational. I know
Niecy would embrace that she is a housewife. She is a comedian. She's an icon, even though she goes,
don't call me an icon. You only call people icons when they're almost dead. I'm like, Niecy,
don't be saying that to me. So we can own many different parts of who we are. So once again,
my lovely listeners, embrace who it is, what you are. If you're a crap housewife,
love that. If you're a marvellous housewife, embrace that. If you're not a housewife,
if you're like, no, I'm a house husband, I'm whatever, embrace that. Because whoever you are,
you are the bee's knees. Beautiful listeners. Before I say, until next time,
please get your hands on my new cookbook with the Australian Women's Weekly. Who would have thought?
I tell you what, not me as a crap housewife, but I have a cookbook. It is called Everyday Not So Crap
Family Meals, available at all amazing bookstores, Big W and Kmart online. Cook up a storm. I'd love
to hear how you go with the recipes. That is enough of a plug from me, because it is time now
to say goodbye. But I will be back next week with another beautiful big conversation with
one of my guests. Until then, embrace, love who you are. And come on, crap housewives,
wave your hands in the air like you just don't care. Listener.