Hello, my beautiful listeners. Now you know that I like to pop into your feed in between
my guest chats to ask a big question. And my big question for this week is, do we ever
stop being objectified as women? What do you think? I reckon we don't. And what got me
thinking about this was a recent cover shoot that Martha Stewart did for Sports Illustrated
magazine. Now, Martha Stewart, some of you may be familiar with her, she was a massive
name in the 80s. She was a cook. She did cooking shows. She did books. She did homeware. She
did fashion. She did a clothing line. Then she went to jail for insider trading. But
she basically kept on keeping on. And now she is 81 years of age. One of her besties
is Snoop Dogg. And they do a bit of a show together. So she's sort of come back into
the zeitgeist again. And what she has done is that she's on the cover of Sports Illustrated
magazine. Don't know if you've seen it. I had a look. She looks amazing. She looks absolutely
incredible. So my first thought when I saw this was, yes, you do you. As you know, I'm
a huge believer in, as women, we support the different choices that other women make, even
if it mightn't be something that you would necessarily do. So I thought, Martha, you
do you. You look amazing. This is wonderful. Because you know, one of her mottos is, when
you're through changing, you're through. And isn't that good? Because essentially what
that means is we never ever want to stop growing. We never ever want to stop learning,
pushing ourselves, doing something differently. But to me then that bigger question was, what
are we doing differently where our value as a woman is judged on us being on the cover
of a magazine? And this particular magazine, Sports Illustrated, is known for having supermodels
on the cover. Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, Elle Macpherson. When Victoria's Secret was still
popular, it was all the Victoria's Secret models. And essentially the magazine, it's
aimed at blokes. All other parts of the year, it's some sports star on the cover. But each
particular edition where it's the swimsuit model, it's women. And it's women scantily
clad, looking gorgeous, supermodel types. And here we have Martha Stewart. Yes, she's
81, but she looks amazing. And really, is that what we want to be our yardstick as women
for getting older? Is that what our value still is? Are you tired of that? Are you tired
of people saying, your value is purely in what you present on the outside? And my wonderful
producer, Nick and I, my fellow Leopard Lady, we were chatting about this. And we're of
a similar age. And we were saying, what is it about when you turn these milestone ages?
I recently turned 50. Well, actually, I'll be 53 soon. And I can't wait. And the first
thing that people will say when you reach these milestone ages is, oh, you look good
for your age? Really? Are you that old? And there's a part of me, my ego, that goes, oh,
actually, oh, thank you. Oh, I feel good about this. But then I step back and I think, why
is it that yet again, my value and my sense of self-worth is coming from this outside
validation about my appearance? And that is tiresome. I think as well about my daughters.
And I think about them as little girls. I mean, they're teenagers now. But as little
girls. And when I'd meet other girls their same age, I'd begin a conversation with them
by saying, oh, aren't you gorgeous? Or look at your beautiful hair. Or look at your shoes.
And again, it was commenting on some exterior value. And I didn't realise I was doing this
until I read an article saying, how do you start conversations with girls? Because I
thought, actually, with little boys, I would never say, oh, I love your hair. Or look at
your cool little sneakers. Or gee, that colour's pretty. I wouldn't say that. So why was I
doing it with girls? So I really made a point of beginning conversations with, what are
you into? And so much so that my daughters now still roll their eyes and go, oh, Mum,
you're going to ask that person what they're into. Because then what would quickly follow
was I'd say, so, you know, do you like music? Or are you more into sport? And they could
pretty much predict that that's what I'd be saying. But it was a really good habit of
mine to get into. And it helped me rephrase how I would begin innocent conversations.
Because it's just being polite. It's just making conversation. But what is the intent
behind that? And why is our default when we talk with other women, regardless of their
age, to talk about something that is appearance related? And hey, it's okay to talk appearance,
but why does it have to be the first thing? Or why do we still, as women, put our value
on that above anything else? As opposed to I'm about to be 53 and someone's saying to
me, you are 53. What a wise, fabulous, brave woman you are. Oh, I want some of that wisdom.
I want some of that experience. Because as we get older, that is what we have to offer.
It's not about, oh, look at our amazing legs without cellulite or, you know, our amazing
bust or whatever. Sure, it's great if you've got all of that, but surely that is not where
our value lies. Our value lies in what's in here, in our heads and in our hearts. And
as we get older, that to me is what matters most. And even though I know that, that that
matters most, why do I still think, oh, yes, isn't it lovely when someone compliments me
on, oh, I don't look my age? But you know why I don't look my age? I get Botox. And
those of you, I know you listen, you know that I tell you I get Botox. I'm actually
due for a bit of a freshen up. I'm a little bit wrinkly here. But I tell you that because
I think that's really important to be honest about what we do, to look certain ways. Because
otherwise we do one another a disservice by not being open. You know, I'm not going to
tell you, oh, I stand on my head and I have supplements. And that is why I don't look
so youthful. No. Why do various supermodels and high profile people say that when it is
so obvious they get poison in their faces? So I'm telling you, I get poison in my face.
That is why there are some times where I look less tired and less wrinkle free. So back
to Martha Stewart, 81, looking incredible. But you know what? When she was interviewed
about doing the cover, she said how she didn't eat pasta and carbs for however many months.
Really? Do we really feel that we have to be depriving ourselves still at the wonderful
age of 81 of not eating the things that bring you joy, that give you pleasure, that are
often the stuff of life? Why should this extraordinary woman feel that she has to do that to be, you
know, swimsuit ready? She doesn't. But yet again, it comes back to why is it that we
are still objectifying women, regardless of our age? And the other thing about Martha
is, yes, she looks amazing. We all know, and surely by this age we do know this, that the
photos that you see in magazines, the photos that you see on social media are essentially
airbrushed within an inch of their lives. You know, I ask for that. When I often have
a photo shoot, I'm like, could you please just soften it a bit around my eyes? I still
want to look like me, but let's just soften it around here. And so obviously those pictures
are airbrushed because is that really what we want to think an 81-year-old woman is?
The other thing too that I find slightly problematic is Martha Stewart has unveiled this amazing
look, which she has done before the Sports Illustrated cover, and she's had work done.
Why not say it? Why is that something you feel you either need to hide or be ashamed
of? There's no shame in that. Again, own it. Own that this is what I've done. There's no
problems with doing that. And again, I think it makes us all feel better when we realise
we're not superhuman. There's not some secret elixir that means some women are better at
this than others, because the point is we are all goddesses. We are all wonder women
in what we do. And for goodness sake, let's just stop objectifying one another. I was
thinking too that when I began in journalism, when I began as a news presenter, I was paired
up with an older bloke. And that was very much across the board. It's changed now. You
see much more mature women still on the telescreens, which I think is wonderful. But at the time
it really made me think a lot about why is it as women our value is in our seeming beauty
in inverted commas and youth, whereas in men it's about their age and experience and what
they can offer that way. Surely as women we know that in our age and experience there
is so much that we have to offer and to give and also that we can learn from. I want to
learn from Martha Stewart in terms of reinvention, her ability to have a go at something, to
sort of basically say, hey, I am still here. Because of course there's that question of
when we get to a certain age, you can feel invisible. Martha Stewart isn't invisible,
but does she need to be on the cover of a Sports Illustrated magazine at the age of
81 to say, I'm not invisible, here I am? Do we need to go to those lengths to say, look,
I'm still valuable because I still fit into this currency of what it means to be a woman
in the sense of being attractive and desirable and looking hot? Because we all want to look
hot, sure. But surely that hotness comes from within. But beautiful listeners, do we ever
stop objectifying women? My answer is no, but we need to stop it. I really work hard
with my daughters to talk about all the things that they do that are not about their appearance,
that aren't about valuing how they look above what is in their brains, what is in their
heart, and how it is that they carry themselves through the world. I want more of those sorts
of conversations about this is what matters, this is what's valuable, as opposed to at
a particular age, I still look amazing in a cosy and a wrap. Great! I want more of those
things. Great! It's wonderful that your body feels strong and that's how you feel, but
surely that is not the currency of what it means to be a badass woman. And why I'm saying
badass in that way is I borrowed that phrase from Toria Pitt and I don't often swear, but
I think in this case I can say badass, because how we want to be badass women is by saying
you know what, I'm strong, I'm gorgeous, I'm beautiful because of what is in here and because
of what is in my head and what it is that I can offer you. My wisdom, my bravery, my
courage, my humour, all of these things that are so much more valuable than how I look
in a cosy or being on the cover of a magazine at a certain age. So wherever it is that you
fit, you do you, but know that your value is what matters and it's your value that is
in your heart. So until next time, you be kind, but be kind to yourself and know that
you are enough. Also, this is my rant, but I'd love to know what you would like me to
rant about or if you've got a rant that you think I could expand on. Send me a message
via Insta, slide into my DMs, sometimes I get a lot of DMs so it's hard to go through
them all, but pop onto my Insta page and let me know what you would like me to answer,
because to me that is the best thing of all, sharing those questions, sharing our info
and our wisdom. So hop into my Insta and let me know. I'll be back next week with another
beautiful, big conversation with one of my guests, but until then, you do you. Lots of