My beautiful listeners, you know I love having big talks with our guests, but now it's my
I have a big question for you this week, and my question is, why do school reunions bring
up different emotions for you?
And why I want to talk with you about it is, I have just been to my 35-year school reunion.
I mean, is that possibly possible that I left school 35 years ago?
I can't believe it.
And I decided to go to my reunion.
And I want to tell you why I went.
I did take a little bit of convincing.
I've stayed really tight with six beautiful friends that I met in high school.
And even though we live in various parts of the world, we're at different stages of our
lives now, there's something very special about knowing the people who sort of knew
you from the beginning, who knew you before all these things happened in your life.
It strips away all of the layers.
So I'm very tight with these women still.
And even though I don't always talk to them, I do know that we are always there for each
So we decided, let's go to our 35-year school reunion.
One of my friends has pretty much been to every one of them.
And we were always like, why are you doing that?
Why do you want to keep going back again and again?
But for her, it was important to have that connection to everyone that we'd been to
high school with.
I went to my 10-year reunion.
When I left that, I thought, OK, I don't need to come back to another school reunion.
I've been there, done that, closed that door.
I don't need to see these people again.
So I was very adamant, no, no, no, I don't want to do this again.
But there was something about 35 years that made me think, come on, put on your big girl
But also, what was it that I was frightened about going back to high school?
And I think what I was nervous about, and perhaps it's something that you feel too,
is high school was fraught for me.
I don't want to be a teenager again.
I think most of us do not want to revisit those teenage years.
And I was thinking, oh, I don't know if I want to go back to that time or back to that
Because sometimes when you're around a whole lot of people from a certain formative time
in your life, you fall back into those groups.
You fall back into that way of behaving, that way of seeing yourself.
And I've changed a lot from that young woman.
And I didn't know if I wanted to go back to being that young woman.
So I think that's why I was nervous about my school reunion.
And I also was thinking, it's weird, isn't it?
What are people going to think?
Why do I worry about what people think?
But my other girlfriend and I, who we were going together, we were messaging each other
going, what are you going to wear?
What should I wear?
And I thought, I'm a 52-year-old woman.
Why am I messaging?
What am I going to wear to my school reunion?
So we had a bit of a laugh.
And I said, well, I'm going to wear something 80s inspired, because I was at school in the
80s, the best decade for music and for fashion.
So I wore a jumpsuit, a sparkly jumpsuit that leaves sort of a trail of glitter where
So I thought, I'm going to wear that with some massive earrings and bright lipstick
and blue eyeshadow.
So I was channelling my 80s.
And then my girlfriend was like, okay, I'll wear something sparkly.
So the two of us met, along with two of our other really close friends, because the others
are on other sides of the world and travelling, so they couldn't join us.
So we did meet together.
We shared a bottle of champagne and we reconnected.
And that was so special to talk about where we were at our lives now.
So we walked into where our reunion was, and it was just across the road from school, from
And what was interesting was that one of my girlfriends got quite anxious because she
said, oh, my goodness, this is so triggering for me, being close to high school.
Because for her, high school had been especially difficult.
And she was thinking, oh, no, why am I feeling this way, having all these emotions churning
up again when I've carved this pretty amazing life for myself?
But she bravely said, I'm not going to look right.
I said, don't look across the road, don't look at the school.
Let's walk into this RSL club and put on our big girl pants again and in we go.
And when we walked in, thank goodness we had name tags, because I was a little bit anxious
too about how am I going to remember everyone?
And it was funny.
There was faces that I didn't remember.
But then when we got up close and gave each other a hug, the sparkle in people's eyes,
the smile, the knowing look, it was like, oh, my goodness, yes, I remember sitting next
to you in chemistry and I had no idea about chemistry and you were so kind to me.
And those sorts of emotions started to come up.
And you know who else was there?
My Latin teacher.
And she also happened to be a year coordinator as well.
And I couldn't believe that she was there at our school reunion.
And that was so special because there we were on the dance floor dancing to, oh, Mickey,
you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind, hey, Mickey, together.
And I'm thinking, I can't believe this is my Latin teacher.
And then after we got off the dance floor, we were able to talk and I was able to say
sorry to her because I had been a real rat bag in her class.
My friend and I used to sit in the back row and we'd swing on our chairs and we'd bang
the back of our chairs on the wall and think we were hilarious and call out and just be
real pains in the neck.
And I said, I'm so sorry that we really carried on like that.
And she said, oh, don't be ridiculous.
She said, you were just young being young women and that was fine.
And so that was really quite lovely, the way that she was like, oh, what's the big deal?
I said to her, gee, it's special that you're here.
So we had a group photo of the Latin class.
So gathered around were all of these other amazing women who I hadn't been with since
Latin in year 10.
And there we were laughing, remembering Cornelius and Caecilius and Cerberus the dog and all
these sorts of Latin terms.
Some could remember more than others.
Hello, I couldn't really remember any of the sentences, but that was so lovely to have
a laugh about that.
And another thing that I had to have a bit of a laugh about, but it was embarrassment.
And I think about what is it about school reunions that bring up all sorts of mixed
Looking around at these other women, I was so embarrassed because I was reminded of how
I carried on at school, that I was part of a group and we used to call ourselves the
Now, this stood for Double Bay Trendies and we called ourselves that with not a trace
We thought we were the ants pants.
And for those of you who aren't familiar with Sydney, Double Bay is in the eastern suburbs
We used to go out in Double Bay and we really thought we were pretty fancy.
So it was one of the more, I suppose, fancy suburbs of Sydney.
And so as me, as a grown woman, as a woman in my fifties, I felt this sort of mixture
of embarrassment and almost shame in a way that, oh my goodness, who did I think I was
That I somehow had this idea that because of where we lived and the sorts of clothes
that we wore and the music we listened to, that we were better than everyone else.
And of course, I don't think that now, but what is it about our teenage selves that makes
us think we have the answers?
I mean, I suppose I just have to think about my beautiful daughters who roll their eyes
and look at me and be like, oh mum, as if you understand.
And I'm like, yes, I understand.
I was once a teenager.
I was once a really vile teenager.
And I think that was why I had that sense of embarrassment, those sort of mixed emotions
at the school reunion, because I was reminded of what I was like, that I really thought
I was better than people.
And that's appalling.
And there's no way I would want anyone to think that about me now.
And isn't it bizarre that when we're younger, we have this need or desire to label ourselves,
to feel like we fit in to a particular box or a group.
And that desire to fit in is something that we crave more than anything.
Whereas now as a grown up, I think I'm fairly grown up, I don't want to fit in.
I've jumped out of that box and I don't want to be like anyone else.
As my younger self, I wanted to be like my friends.
We wanted to wear the same sorts of outfits.
We'd wear the same coloured lipstick.
And at the time, this lipstick, I don't think it exists anymore.
The label was, it was Q-Tex, which is now, I think it just does now, polishes, but it
was Q-Tex and the colour was blue opal.
And it was literally this bluish pink lipstick that all of us wore.
We'd sort of smile and we'd have exactly the same colour lippy on.
We'd wear our shirts with our collars up.
We'd wear jeans and sandblasted leather jackets and boots.
And I would wear, I mean, I love hats now, but I'd wear these Indiana Jones style hats
when I went out and I really thought I was looking mighty fine.
And so again, that mix of emotion, that sort of embarrassment and almost blushing, thinking
Oh, Jessica, who did you think you were all those years ago?
But you know what?
I was just trying to work myself out.
And I think that's why when I think about teenagers and for any of you with teenage
kids or teenagers in your life, we've got to cut them some slack because it's hard.
I wouldn't want to go back to that time at all where you're trying to make sense of who
you are. You want to fit in, but you really don't feel like you fit in.
So you sort of put on these uniforms and conform because you think that's the way that I can
find my way through this really rocky time of hormones and acne.
So that is why when I was on the dance floor with my Latin teacher surrounded by all these
other amazing young women and they played the song, We Are Family, and we were reminded
by the other girls that we changed the words to that song, to We Are DBTs.
And we did that at our farewell concert.
And you know, the other line we added, and this is shocking.
Everyone bowed down at our feet, like how bad is that?
We think we were.
So yes, again, I not only will apologise to my Latin teacher, Miss Pangas, but I'm going
to apologise to some of those other fine women who at the time I was just an arrogant pain
And the other thing that was also really special was looking around the room at all of these
amazing women and thinking, wow, look at all of us.
What have we endured?
We'd endured heartache, heartbreak, relationship breakdowns, death, terrible sadness, incredible
But here we all were in this one moment together celebrating how far we'd come and that we'd
And the final song of the night was that wonderful I Will Survive song.
And all of us without fail crammed onto the dance floor, screaming our lungs out with
And there was a real sense of celebration of owning where we were now in our lives.
And I think for me that was what was so special about the school reunion, that sense of we
We are here with all of our flaws and failings and heartache, but we're still here.
And we're celebrating that we are still here together.
Because it was pretty special that we had made it as far as we'd made it.
Because in the corner of the room were four little candles.
And those candles were lit for the women who were no longer with us, those women who had
And I hadn't really thought about that until I'd looked across the room and thought, what
are those candles?
And they were nestled amongst these beautiful pale rose petals.
And it made me think, yes, we need to celebrate these moments.
Because there's so much sadness, so much that can happen, unexpected things.
But what did happen on that night in that RSL club was that as a group of women together,
we could claim our power, claim our sense of we have made this.
We've shared our teenage years together, those rocky times.
But I tell you what, what we had gone off and done separately and endured was pretty
So to come that full circle and be there together again in our very different ways,
at the very different stages that we are at in our lives, was really something beautiful
and powerful to celebrate.
So that was a really extraordinary moment for me and I was so happy that I made that
decision to go, yes, I'm going to go to my school reunion.
So if an invitation pops up in your Facebook or in your email about your school reunion,
why not be brave and say yes?
I get that it can be scary, that it can trigger up a lot of things because it also can make
you think about comparison and oh no, what will people think?
Have I achieved what I thought I was going to achieve?
But isn't it about thinking, let me celebrate me where I am at right now, because where
I am at right now is right for me now.
So why don't you say yes, do it, wear your sparkly jumpsuit, do whatever it is that bring
your joy, have some shampoos with your friends, get on the dance floor and celebrate that
I'm going to be back again next week with one of my amazing guests.
Why don't you, in the meantime, crank up some of that 80s music like I did Whitney Houston?
I want to dance with somebody, I want to dance with somebody at my school reunion, so I want
you to all have a dance with somebody, even dance with yourself, I mean there's nothing
So much love listeners.