A listener production.
Hi there, everyone.
How are we going this week?
I just love getting this opportunity to pop into your feed.
Because it is big question time.
And the big question, drum roll,
I would bang some drums and a cymbal if I had it.
The question for you is,
is it anyone else's business to weigh in on your body shape?
Now, let me say loudly and clearly,
it is no one else's business.
Really, buzz off.
I don't want to hear about it.
No, thank you very much.
What I want to do is share with you
why I feel we need to butt out of other women's bodies.
And how I'm going to do that is, first of all,
share some of my experiences
and how that made me feel.
And then I want to talk about some more recent examples
of where some people have decided,
yes, let's weigh into this person's body shape.
Okay, confession time for me.
Or maybe it's not even confession time, it's sharing time.
And as you know, I do like to overshare
because it's all about not feeling alone.
And for me, what has happened to me over the years
is I'm naturally thin.
I've always been skinny.
I don't have boobs.
I look a little bit like an ironing board.
My ribs stick out a bit, but you know what?
This is my shape.
But when I was younger,
a lot of people used to think it was okay to ask me
if I had an eating disorder.
Now, that is not helpful.
First of all, I found it highly offensive.
Why do we think it's okay to ask someone
about their body shape?
It doesn't matter what shape you are.
You might be a size eight.
You might be a size 20.
You don't need to think,
I'm gonna ask you about your body shape.
But it seemed to be because I was thin
and I was in the public eye,
this was when I was a newsreader the first time around,
I was probably about 23, 24.
And I did look different.
I had short hair.
And at the time everyone had the broadcast bob,
you know that boring Jennifer Aniston hairstyle?
There was no way I was gonna have that.
I had short hair.
I wore different clothes.
So I did look a bit different on the telly.
And people used to have a bit of a go at that
and also have a go at my weight.
And I remember this particular time
and a journalist pitched a story as,
yeah, we'd like to interview Jessica Rowe
about being a news presenter.
And I thought, oh, fantastic.
I'd love to have a chat about this.
We'll come along.
We'll interview her,
but we know that she's going to a charity event.
So we'll send a photographer along to this charity event.
So there I was, they took some photos.
I thought, oh, this'll be nice.
We did the interview that weekend in the paper.
Basically the headline was along the lines
of I have an eating disorder.
And I was appalled.
Unbeknownst to me,
the photographer took the most unflattering pictures of me
looking very thin in the face because of my cheekbones.
So I looked hollowed out and it just, they set me up.
I didn't say anything about my weight,
but it then became this gossip piece
about me having an eating disorder.
And I was upset because this was early on in my career.
So I wasn't as experienced
in just letting these things brush over you.
Of course I realise when you are in the public eye,
there is a level of scrutiny that comes with that.
And you have to sort of almost wear that and think, okay.
But this was early in my career.
And it was one of the first instances
where I felt, oh, this is so mean.
And it was nasty because all it could do
was focus on my body size and shape.
And it made me not feel good about myself.
It undermined what I was trying to do with my career.
And then it also seemed to give other people permission
to also weigh into, oh, you're very thin, aren't you?
Do you eat enough?
And this continued and continued.
And every now and then it still continues
where people will say, oh, do you eat?
And I wanna look at them and say, do you eat too much?
And I would never say that because it's mean.
We don't say that to people.
So why would you say to me,
oh, do you eat and oh, you're very thin, aren't you?
And then there's that silence
that you're expected to then fill in that gap.
And as I've got older, basically I walk away
and I don't involve myself in those discussions.
But as a young woman, it was hurtful and it was damaging.
And that is why it is no one's business
to weigh in on your body shape.
And that's why I think we need to consider
the way we discuss our bodies
and the way we discuss other women's bodies,
especially within earshot of our kids.
I know I've been very vigilant about always talking
about my body in a positive way, always,
not only around my daughters, but just full stop.
But I know with my girls who are now 13 and 15,
I never sort of go, oh, my bum looks big in this
or look at the stretch marks on my thighs or oh, no.
I say things like, I love my body.
It is powerful and strong.
They'll roll their eyes and go,
mom, please don't walk around in the nude.
It is so embarrassing.
I don't wanna see your body.
And then I say, well, you came out of my vagina.
So how embarrassing is that?
And then they run away screaming.
But why I think it is important
that we are mindful of what we say about our bodies
and how we talk about ourselves is our kids are sponges.
They absorb it all.
And it's not only girls, it's boys as well.
Boys need to feel good about how they look.
They mightn't be the big muscle man type,
which seems to be more and more,
I suppose the body type trend for young men.
Isn't it about feeling good and strong
and celebrating what our bodies are capable of
as opposed to how they look.
And why I wanted to talk about this,
especially with you at the moment is,
I was looking at that gorgeous, smart and funny young model
and I suppose influencer and reality TV star,
Simone Holtz-Nagel.
Now recently, Simone posted to her Instagram
some before and after pictures.
And I thought she looked fabulous both before and after.
And I celebrated what she did.
I didn't get on her Instagram,
but I thought, yeah, good on you.
But what really annoyed me and gave me the irits,
I mean, that's as strong as I get
because I'm not gonna swear here and you know I don't swear.
But what really gave me the irits
was the hard time she got about her body.
Why do we think it's okay to pile on and weigh in
and say, oh, look, you're too thin
or oh no, what about blah, blah?
No, that's not helpful and buzz off.
She is now dating this celebrity trainer.
And I tell you what, I met him in a cooking event
and he's got great muscles.
His name's Jono and you know, they work out together.
So what's wrong with being a bit more
kind of muscly and fit looking?
Which is probably gonna happen
if you're dating a personal trainer.
She's done it in a healthy way.
She's found the love of food.
She's found the consistency and balance for training.
You know, you can't bully someone
and say awful things about someone's journey, you know.
You're doing exactly what people don't want in 2022, right?
We don't live in that world anymore
where you just write whatever.
You know, people have feelings.
Simone's got feelings as well.
I mean, my clients have read it
who are on the weight loss journey.
And you know, it is effective.
It's a toxic world that you're creating.
So if you are writing awful comments,
think before you write something
because hey, I've worked with people
with eating disorders before.
Simone's journey was her own journey.
She's done it in a healthy, balanced way.
There is nothing wrong with that.
So let's just back off a bit and celebrate Simone
for feeling happy in her skin
as opposed to jumping on the bandwagon
and going, oh, this is this and this is this.
I really do not understand
why it has to be anyone else's business
to weigh in on your body shape.
So please, the next time you are tempted
to look at either an Instagram image of someone
or a magazine cover or someone on the telly
and have that sort of internal dialogue
and then perhaps share that,
if it's not positive, if it's not kind, just zip it.
I mean, my mum taught me,
if you haven't got something nice to say about someone,
What's to be valued in being toxic about someone?
And why is it that we think it's okay to be toxic
about people that we don't know?
Why do we think it's all right to also be toxic
about people that we do know?
Something that you might think is just an innocent
throwaway line to someone, oh, you're looking a bit,
you know, oh, a bit chubby or a bit overweight
or a bit too thin or a bit too this or a bit too that.
No, don't say that.
Why not ask, how are you?
Tell me how you're going and take the time to listen,
to really listen to how they're going on the inside
as opposed to just making it about
what's happening on the outside of them,
how they look on the outside.
Because there's also that cliche,
we might think someone looks amazing and gorgeous
on the outside, but inside they're not feeling beautiful.
Don't you wanna make yourself and other people feel good
about who they are?
So dear listeners, please make that your mission today.
Not only look in the mirror, celebrate your stretch marks,
I've got them all over my bum and I love them
because I've earned them.
But I also love that my body is strong
and capable of so many things.
And I might be skinny, but I love it.
And I'm strong and I'm all of these things,
but I come talking about myself, I wanna talk about you.
Look in the mirror, celebrate what you can do,
how amazing your body is,
and also celebrate those around you.
I'll be back next week with another one
of my amazing guests.
Until then, enjoy some caramel in bed.
That's what I'm gonna be doing tonight.